


Somehow Different

by Petra1999



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alcohol, Angst, Body Image, Chaptered, Cliche, Coming Out, Crying, Death Eater Draco Malfoy, Drunkenness, Emotions, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, Fights, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hogwarts, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Minor Seamus Finnigan/Dean Thomas, Secret Relationship, Secrets, Sexual Content, Slow Build, Slow Romance, Swearing, Trust Issues, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-22
Updated: 2015-09-28
Packaged: 2018-04-16 14:53:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4629429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Petra1999/pseuds/Petra1999
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Through a coincidence Neville and Draco end up spending their free period before Potions class crying in the same abandoned bathroom. Neville never thought Draco would be so nice and sensitive, but can Neville really trust him, knowing the Slytherin boy has so many secrets?</p><p>- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -</p><p>* A (more or less) slow-build, in-character Neville/Draco fic. (Dean/Seamus is a minor pairing in here, too.)<br/>* 3rd POV, following Neville and his thoughts<br/>* Set in Book 6 (HBP) while Draco struggled with being a Death Eater and Neville struggled with trusting him. Mostly canon compliant.<br/>* TW: explicit underage sexual content, language (swearing), alcohol, implied homophobia, body image, lots of emotions</p><p>[ ABANDONED STORY! I will not continue this! ]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hot Tears

**Author's Note:**

> [I'll try to put all notes up in here, so they aren't in the middle of the story.]
> 
> Regarding Chapter 2:  
> I KNOW that Harry didn't attack Draco in the abandoned bathroom. It was actually in the boy's bathroom on the 6th floor, but let's forget that for a bit, ok? Ok.
> 
> Regarding Chapter 7:  
> I realised that I have made a mistake in this chapter. Draco's Dark Mark should be visible, but Neville does not see it.
> 
> I changed the titles of chapter 7 and 8 before publishing 9. 'Good Times' became 'Sincere Words', and 'New Facts' became 'New Love'.
> 
> Regarding Chapter 9:  
> This chapter is inspired by digthewriter's "Spinning Out Of Control" fic, in which Harry thinks back at seeing Draco getting Neville off behind the Quidditch pitch. Of course, Harry seeing them did not happen in my story.  
> Idea of Luna realizing something is going on between the boys was my sister's idea. ^^
> 
> Regarding Chapter 10 + 11:  
> Chapter 10 is end of part one of the story. The second half of the story begins with chapter 11.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \--- O N E ---
> 
> Through a coincidence Neville and Draco end up spending their free period before Potions class crying in the same abandoned bathroom. Neville never thought Draco would be so nice and sensitive, but can Neville really trust him, knowing the Slytherin boy has so many secrets?

Neville was in the abandoned bathroom again.  
  He had a free period now, and his next class - Potions - would start in roughly one hour. Like the previous week he was in there to revise and overthink everything he had learnt in his most recent lessons with Professor Snape. He mustn't fail at brewing a potion again, as his attempt two days ago was already bad enough for a lifetime. Pictures of Snape embarrassing and humiliating him in front of the other students flooded his mind and made him sad, but also furious, and he felt hot tears in his eyes. Silently, he gave up on all revising and sat on the cold floor and began to sob into his hands. The fact that he couldn't even think about Potions without starting to cry made it a lot worse, too.  
  Just a few moments later, the young ghost from the abandoned bathroom emerged from one of the bathroom stalls.  
  "Oh no! Another crying boy!" Moaning Myrtle exclaimed, and Neville hectically rubbed his tears off with the sleeve of his robe.  
  "Don't tell anyone please. But what... do you mean 'another'?" he stuttered as the ghost girl floated closer, and Myrtle gave a chuckle. "Oh, I shouldn't have told you this, no no!" She exclaimed. "If he finds out..." she continued, voice lowered.  
  Neville, confused as he was, stood up to face the ghost. "I won't tell anybod-" The sound of the door creaking open interrupted him. In the frame of the huge wooden door stood - Draco Malfoy.  
The Slytherin's face changed to somewhat annoyed as he noticed the boy and the ghost.  
  "What are _you_ doing here?" he hissed, stepping closer. Neville quickly blinked away the last tears. Draco's gaze fell upon Moaning Myrtle. "Ugh, and you again, you little brat."  
The ghost opened her mouth dramatically. "You can't say that to me! I was always nice to you! I always wanted to help you!" she replied.  
Draco quickly closed in, ignoring Neville completely as he fixed his stare on the young ghost. "I. Never. Wanted. Your. Help." he said calmly.  
The ghost turned around to look at the frightened Gryffindor who was watching from next to the sink. "That's him." she said, nodding towards Draco, who instantly raised his fist and threw a punch towards Myrtle, but his hand only glided through her body. Even though the ghost didn't feel anything, she seemed affected.  
  "B- But... W-W-What d-did I ev-ever do to yooouuu?" she began to moan.  
  "Just go away!" Draco shouted. "Go back into the toilet where you belong!"  
And Moaning Myrtle did as commanded, howling dramatically on her way towards the very last stall. With the sound of flushing water, she was gone.  
Realising what that meant, Neville turned around to face Draco, who was already coming closer, the blond boy's eyes fixated on the other's. Soon, Neville felt his eyes getting watery again.  
  "I'm just- I- Lost. I'm lost." Neville choked, sheer panic rising inside him.  
  "I don't think so, Longbottom!" Draco stepped even closer. "I think you've been spying on me. Who told you to do it? Let me guess, your buddy Potter!" he spit out the last word with disgust.  
Neville backed up towards the wall as far as he could, but the other boy was still frightening close. "That's not true! I started coming here at this time every week! I'm not spying!" He felt his tears rushing down his face now, and blushed in embarrassment.  
Draco seemed calmer now. "And what in hell are you doing here? Hanging with your old friend Myrtle?"  
  "N-no! She spoke to me the first time today. I come here to be alone, I swear!" The words came out of Neville without him meaning to. "Please don't hit me!" he begged when Draco seemed to come even closer, so that the tips of their shoes were touching now. But the other's expression seemed a lot friendlier now.  
  "I won't hit you." Draco shook his head and raised his eyebrows. He seemed to have realised how intimidating he had acted and backed away a few inches. "Damn, Neville, I didn't mean to upset you that much." he added as he saw the boy's tears flowing down his flushed cheeks. Neville opened his eyes widely, and then used his sleeve to remove his tears again.  
  "You know my name." he muttered in his arm.  
  "Huh?" Draco shuffled and leant towards the wall next to the boy. "Of course. Neville Longbottom. You really thought I didn't know your _name_?"  
  "Well, yes." Neville replied and timidly met the Slytherin's gaze next to him. He opened his mouth to speak again, but then decided against it.  
They both said nothing for a while, till Draco spoke again.  
  "What did Moaning Myrtle say to you?"  
Neville turned his face away from the other boy. "She said that I am not the first one to cry here."  
  Draco groaned. "I had expected that. Why'd you cry though?" he asked with serious interest.  
  "Snape." the Gryffindor simply said.  
  "He's not that bad, you just have to make good potions!" Draco said, but when he saw Neville sliding down the wall to the ground burying his face in his hands, he added "He can be an asshole though, that's true." The boy sat down on the floor next to the other. "Be glad you're not Slytherin."  
  "I am glad." Neville raised his head. He was smiling now, but when their gazes met both boys awkwardly stared at the floor.  
After a few minutes Neville gathered up all his courage and asked "So you are the other one crying?"  
The other boy didn't answer straight away. "It's none of your business." He said after a while.  
  "But surely I c-"  
  "No." Draco interrupted the other. "I'm not going to talk about it. Not with you."  
There was silence again, before Neville spoke again.  
  "You don't have to tell me. Maybe I can help you without knowing it."  
  "Why _would_ you?" Draco said in disgust, balling his hands up into fists.  
  "I'd be thankful if you didn't tell anyone about this." Neville said. "I mean... About me." He lowered his head. "They already think I'm a complete loser, but still..." He played with his cloak nervously. "And if you don't, I want to be nice to you too."  
  "Well, what about you don't tell anyone about this _either_!" Draco exclaimed, standing up abruptly.  
  "I would never do that." Neville whispered, looking up just to get pierced with the blond boy's stare.  
  "Not even Potter?" Draco sneered.  
  "Not even Harry, I swear."  
The Slytherin seemed a bit satisfied.  
  "How do I know you're telling the truth?" he demanded to know.  
Neville thought for a moment.  
  "If I tell anybody, you can tell everyone that I have had a nightmare about Snape the other day." he finally said.  
Draco chuckled, then reached out his hand to help the other boy stand up.  
  "How come _you_ trust _me_?" he asked once they were on the same height again.  
The Gryffindor smiled. "I have no other option."  
The boys stared into each other's eyes for a few moments, before Draco closed his slowly.  
  "You can't help me Long-, I mean Neville." he said calmly. He opened his eyes to glance at the huge clock above the bathroom entrance. Forty more minutes till Potions class.  
"Alright." Neville replied.  
  
~  
  
Potions class was a huge failure again for Neville. All he could do was glance at the blond Slytherin every few moments to check if he maybe looked back at him, but he never did. Snape gave Neville extra much homework - again - for mixing up a lot of ingredients. The Potion lesson after that brought similar results, and soon Neville found himself in the hallway of the deserted bathroom again, dreading his next lesson.  
  For a while, he just stood there and thought about whether or not it was a good idea to enter the bathroom again, after what happened a week ago. His curiosity won, and after checking if nobody was there to see him, he entered the bathroom quickly. There, on the floor next to the sink, sat Draco, eyes fixed on the boy who just entered.  
As Neville stepped closer, Draco began to talk.  
  "I told Moaning Myrtle if she shows up during one of my or your visits she'll be dead soon."  
  "Technically..." Neville began, but Draco interrupted him.  
  "You know what I mean." he grinned.  
The brunette boy smiled back and sat next to the other.  
  "You didn't tell anyone about it, did you?" Neville asked timidly. "Nobody picked on me. Well, not at least more than usually."  
  "Of course not." Draco replied. "I won't break the promise. This is private."  
  "Thank you."  
  "Hasn't much to do with you, though." The Slytherin tossed in. "And I hope you didn't break your promise either."  
  "No, of course not." Neville shifted to find a more comfortable position. "So why are you here again anyway?" he asked carefully, staring at the tiled floor.  
Draco leaned his head against the wall. "I could ask you the same thing."  
  "Potions." the Gryffindor simply said.  
The other chuckled. "Did you do your homework? I almost feel sorry for you, but you are really bad."  
Neville felt a small pain in his chest. "I was distracted. And yes, I did it. At least I tried..." he murmured and let his head hang low. He had managed to complete the homework after many hours, but he was quite sure it was filled with mistakes.  
  "The trick in potions is to concentrate and remember." Draco said and turned to face Neville's side.  
  "Two things I'm not good at." the other boy said. He raised his head to look at Draco, who chuckled.  
  "That's true." He paused for a moment. "I'm not good at concentrating either, but I get it, I think it's easy to understand. It's so boring to actually do it, though."  
  Neville lowered his gaze again. "I don't understand a word he's saying. Except for all the plants, they're easy.  But why does it matter if I stir clockwise or counter-clockwise?" He sighed. "It just doesn't make sense to me..."  
Draco didn't reply, but after a while of silence he began to speak again. "Let me see your homework."  
  That caught Neville off-hand. "Why?" he asked surprised.  
  "I'm gonna look through it and try to find mistakes." Draco explained after thinking for a second. "It's what I owe you for always picking on you."  
At the memory of the Slytherin scolding him, Neville felt anger in his stomach. "Yeah." he pressed out. He couldn't believe that this had been the same boy who was sitting next to him now, casually talking to him, offering him help, sharing secrets. Something felt wrong about it.  
  "There's a reason I used to do it, Neville." Draco said at the sight of the boy grabbing his robes. "But I'm sorry. I didn't know you were so -" He thought for a moment. "Nice. I guess." he added.  
Hearing the Slytherin boy saying sorry soothed Neville's anger a bit, but he was still holding onto his clothing when he suddenly stood up. "You still didn't have a reason to be so mean! And you're always mean! You're mean to my friends!" The boy didn't remember being so angry at someone since quite a long time. "Why are you doing that? _Why can't you just leave everyone alone!?_ " His loud voice echoed through the bathroom.  
Draco stood up to face him. His eyes seemed cold, his gaze was hard. Neville noticed Draco's hand reaching for his wand, but not grabbing it.  
  "You -" Draco began with clenched teeth; his voice was scarily quiet. "- don't have _any_ idea of my life. I'm much more important than you might think. You don't know what I have to do. You don't know about my problems, and you can't help me." His voice grew louder with every word, and Neville's heart beat faster and faster. "Your so-called 'problems' are _nothing_ compared to mine. I was nice enough to leave you alone for the week and this is the thanks I get?"  
  Neville felt hot tears rolling down his cheeks and hated himself for crying yet again in front of Draco. He wanted to say something, but no words came out. He felt his anger press against his lungs and struggled to breathe. Draco continued to talk.  
  "I thought you were different." The Slytherin spit out. "But apparently I was just wasting my time." For a split second, Neville saw the boy grab his wand, and he threw his body on him as fast as he could. An instant later, Neville was pining Draco against the cold wall, his tears seemingly boiling hot on his face, and he realised that this wasn't because of sadness, but because of pure anger. The other boy seemed too taken by surprise to do anything but stare at him.  
  "Why do you care about me then?" Neville shouted in his face. "Why do you waste your time with me? Why don't you pick on me anymore?" His heart ached as he said those words. "Why are you nice to me but not to my friends?" Their faces were only inches away from each other.  
  "As I told you -" Draco pressed out. "You wouldn't understand." And finally he started to struggle in the Gryffindor's grasp, but Neville was surprisingly strong and determined to get an answer.  
  "Explain to me then." Neville commanded. He had stopped crying, and his voice was calmer now, but he had to use all of his strength to keep Draco in place.  
  "I can't." Draco somehow managed to wiggle out of the other boy's arms, but his hand wasn't on his wand anymore, so Neville didn't care. The Slytherin boy shoved him out of the way with his shoulder and walked quickly towards the heavy door. He glanced back for a second, an angry grimace on his face, before disappearing into the hallway.  
  Neville, now alone, collapsed onto the floor and buried his face in his hands.  
   
  



	2. Wet Floor

Neville was the first one in the Potions classroom and watched all other students enter after him. When Draco entered accompanied by Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy he pretended to concentrate on his text book. Harry, Ron and Hermione were the last ones to enter and greeted him friendly. The shy boy just nodded when the girl sat next to him. Professor Snape entered the dungeon not long after, his long cloak sweeping behind him. He collected the pieces of parchment everyone wrote their homework on (eyeing Neville's particularly), and then proceeded to give the students instructions of the potion they were making. As it was a potion that let plants grow faster - which fascinated Neville extremely - most of the ingredients were herbs and fungi. With delight, the boy noticed that he was familiar with most of them, and half an hour later his potion was the only usable one except Hermione's. Snape didn't say anything, but once the professor was gone, Neville heard one of the Slytherin's shout.  
  "Did Granger help you again, Longbottom? Couldn't do it by yourself I guess." A brown-haired boy sneered. Neville didn't even bother to look up, but collected his books to go to his next lesson. Hermione however was seemingly annoyed.  
  "You know, Neville can actually create a good potion by himself." She said to the Slytherin boy. Then she looked at Draco. "Unlike the bunch of you." she added. Ron nudged her and she turned and followed Harry and Ron out of the dungeon before anyone could say something.  
Neville wanted to follow them, but when he stood up his books fell out of his grip onto the ground, and he had to pick the up again. _Typical me,_ he thought.  
  "That Granger girl always thinks she's the best." Neville heard Draco's voice say. The Gryffindor felt anger inside him but did not turn around before walking towards the exit.  
  "One decent potion doesn't make you a potions master, Longbottom." Pansy's voice followed Neville outside.  
Once in the hallway, he quickened his pace to catch up with his friends, but they were nowhere to be seen. His next class was Transfiguration with the Ravenclaws, meaning if he was fast enough to escape Draco and his gang now, he would have an hour of piece.  
Just when Neville thought he had escaped (as the Slytherin's had to take another route to go to their next class) someone grabbed his shoulder. His heart gave a jolt, and he tried to shake the hand off.  
  "Neville." The voice of the blonde Slytherin was very silent.  
The brunette boy turned around to face Draco, clenching around his books to keep them from falling. He really should get going or Professor McGonagall would scold him for being late for class, but there was something in the other boy's gaze that kept him waiting for him to continue to talk.  
  "I just wanted to tell you that you did a good job there." Draco said when he was sure to have the Gryffindor's attention.  
Neville wasn't very convinced, but murmured a 'thank you' anyways. Draco swallowed and finally let go of the other's shoulder.  
  "I told Pansy to shut up." the blonde boy said.  
  "What?" Neville didn't understand.  
  "I told Pansy to shut up." Draco repeated.  "I know you didn't hear it. At first I didn't want you to hear it. Now I wish you had. Do you believe me?" The words came out of Draco like a waterfall, and he seemed surprised of himself.  
  "I..." Neville had to process what the Slytherin had just said. "If that's true, thank you." he then said. He wasn't sure yet if he wanted to trust Draco, but right now all he had to do was to get to class on time to prevent getting even more homework. "I ought to go." Neville said and rushed away. Before entering the next hallway, he looked back, but Draco was nowhere to be seen.  
  
~  
  
The next week seemed to fly by. After being told off by Professor McGonagall for being late for class, Neville decided to avoid Draco as good as possible, which worked quite fine as the other boy seemed to have a similar plan. He still gave mean comments on everything Neville's friends did, but Neville could swear that there were less of them now.  
  After the week has passed, Neville decided not to go to the abandoned bathroom. He was sure that Draco would not be there waiting for him. If that was a good thing, Neville wasn't certain of. Instead, he spent his free period actually trying to study for Potions, and if the blonde boy wouldn't have been on his mind all the time it would have actually worked well. The free time seemed to be over too soon, and Neville found himself being the first one in the Potions dungeon yet again. However, this time, nobody else came in.  
After about ten minutes, Neville decided to search for a teacher to ask if the class was somewhere else, but as he was standing up Professor Sprout (one of his favourite teachers, of course) entered.  
  "Neville! What are you doing here? Potions class is dismissed today. You have a free period." She informed the boy.  
  "Wha- Why?" Neville asked, picking up his books. "Nobody told me."  
  "Oh dear, I don't know what it is exactly, but Professor Snape has no time for teaching right now. He was heading to the hospital wing when I saw him. Seemed in a rush." Professor Sprout continued. "Why don't you go and use your free time, Neville. I just informed the rest of your class."  
  "Yeah, okay..." the boy mumbled and left the dungeon. Professor Snape going to Madame Pomfrey? Had he been injured? No, Professor Sprout would surely have noticed it. So who was it?  
Quickly, Neville went back to the Gryffindor's common room to put away his books. When he was leaving through the painting of the Fat Lady, he ran into his friends.  
  "Ron! Hermione! Where's Harry?" His heart skipped a beat when he thought of Harry lying injured in the hospital wing. Or worse, dead.  
  "He's just... getting something. Blimey, Neville, what's wrong?" Ron asked the shocked boy.  
  "So Harry's fine?"  
  "Yes." Hermione replied quickly. "He's fine. Why aren't you in Potions class, Neville?" She seemed clueless.  
  "Professor Sprout told me we had a free period. Snape rushing to the hospital wing. I thought it had to do with Harry." he explained to them breathlessly.  
  "Harry's fine. Snape would never mind him getting injured anyways." Ron said, and Neville felt like a weight had lifted off his chest.  
  "Neville, why don't you stay here for a while? We're going to ask a teacher-"  
  "Hermione!" Ron interrupted the girl.  
  "Shut it." Her voice was demanding, but a smile was on her face. "Come one, Ron." And she dragged the boy away from the common room.  
Neville stood there for a few moments, then decided to find out what in Merlin's beard was going on.  When he was sure that his friends had gone, he pursued the path to the hospital wing. When he turned around the corner in the hospital tower he could see Pansy Parkinson arguing with Professor Snape in front of the large, heavy doors of the room.  
  "But Professor, I want to see him!" The Slytherin girl begged. Neville had never heard her like this, and he wondered who lay in one of the beds there, being taken care of by Madam Pomfrey.  
  Snape had his hand on the handle of the door. "No, absolutely not. He is not in the condition for visitors. If you could please return to your class, Miss Parkinson." the tall teacher said in an annoyed voice. "I am sure your Professor is already waiting for you."  
  "But- You're our professor! It's Potions!" Pansy seemed to have lost her patience.  
Snape was taken aback for a second, but then he was standing upright again and raised his head dangerously. "Potions class is dismissed. Please return to your common room, Miss Parkinson, or I will have to give you detention. I am sure Mr. Malfoy can survive the night without your cheeky talk."  
  Neville felt like someone had thrown him into the Great Lake in the middle of winter. His heart gave a jolt when he heard Draco's name, and he stumbled and almost fell. Thankfully, he could hide behind the corner quickly enough before Snape looked at his direction. Panting, Neville pressed his body flat against the wall and tried to listen.  
  "Can you at least tell me what happened?" Pansy continued.  
  "Parkinson, remember I am your Professor and head of your house. I do not tolerate the way you are talking to me right now. Return to your dormitory, or you will get a week's worth detention. Do you understand?" Neville swallowed at Snape's voice. He had never heard it this intimidating.  
  "I understand." the girl replied, and Neville could hear footsteps towards where he was hiding. Quickly, he ran around the next corner and into the abandoned bathroom (which was conveniently on the same floor as the hospital wing). Seconds after he had closed the door behind him, he could hear footsteps passing. He held his breath for a few more moments to wait for a second pair of footsteps, but when he didn't hear anything he sighed of relief. It was only then when he noticed how demolished the abandoned bathroom looked.  
  There was water everywhere, only a bit where Neville was standing, but in the back it seemed at least ankle-deep. It seemed to come from one or two damaged sinks behind some stalls.  
After a the first shock, Neville walked a few steps towards the centre of the bathroom. He had to wait some time anyways, to make sure Snape wouldn't catch him, so he was determined to find out what had happened here. He noticed something lying on the wet floor in front of the nearest sink. When he got closer, he realised it was some kind of fabric. Kneeling beside it (but carefully holding up his own clothes) he examined the piece of clothing. It was a normal grey pullover every student in Hogwarts had, but somehow it gave Neville a weird feeling in his stomach. What had happened here? Had it to do with Draco lying in the hospital wing?  
  Panic rose inside Neville as he tried to connect the clues. Draco used to come here regularly, just like himself. He - Neville - hadn't been there today, but Draco had no reason whatsoever to not return to this place. Neville suddenly was quite sure that Draco had been there in the abandoned bathroom only an hour ago, and something had happened - something that had destroyed the bathroom, and injured the Slytherin boy.  
  Neville felt sick in his stomach, but just when he decided to leave, he had a brilliant idea. Careful not to fall, the boy stepped through the water towards the last stall.  
  "Myrtle?" he whispered into the toilet. "Are you there?"  
The ghost answered with a scream, but did not emerge from the pipes.  
  "Myrtle, please answer me!" Neville said, louder now.  
  "Are you the bad boy?" Moaning Myrtle's voice came from the toilet. "Did you hurt poor, crying-"  
  "What? No!" Neville exclaimed. He couldn't understand what the ghost girl was talking about. "Please just come out, I have to ask you something!"  
  "NO!" The high-pitched voice echoed through the bathroom, which let Neville flinch. "Don't ever ask me questions again! Leave me alone, you two-faced, stupid-" The ghost let out a few swearwords and did not reply to Neville again.  
   Disappointed, the Gryffindor waded through the water back to the door and listened. No-one was there, it was time to leave.  
  
~  
  
Neville couldn't sleep that night. He didn't want to admit it, but he was worried about Draco. After all, they somehow, maybe, in some kind of way became friends over the last few weeks. After hours of lying in bed awake, he decided to finally stand up and do something with the time.  
  Without turning on the light he left the dorm and walked down the stairs to the Gryffindors' common room. It was deserted, naturally, but the fire from the evening was still glowing in the fireplace, so the boy decided to sit on the floor next to it. He stared into the embers, still trying to understand what had happend that day, till he heard a noise coming from the portrait of the Fat Lady. The picture swung open, and Neville stood up to see who was there. It was Harry.  
  "Oh my-" Neville's friend flinched when he noticed him. "What are you still doing awake?"  
  The boy didn't have an answer, so instead he said "I could ask you the same thing."  
  Harry lowered his head. His lightning scar was visible through his dark fringe. "I... Uhm... I had detention with Snape."  
Neville felt bad for being positively surprised, but this was his chance to get more information about what had happened in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.  
  "Why?" he asked his friend.  
  "Oh, you know. Snape hates me." Harry chuckled, but then his expression turned serious again. "Actually, I did deserve it this time."  
  "Oh." Neville wasn't sure about what to say. "Well, did Professor Snape by any chance say anything about what happened to Draco?" Right when he asked, Harry stepped closer.  
  "You know about it? How do you know about it?" Harry urged.  
  "I don't. That's why I'm asking you." Neville defended himself, but he knew what his friend meant. "Okay, to be honest, I overheard Pansy and Snape in front of the hospital wing. I want to know what happened to Draco." He was hoping that Harry couldn't hear the sincere worry in his voice.  
  "You- What? Uhm, I think Draco's fine. Listen, Neville, don't tell anyone about this, alright? You shouldn't know about this."  
  Neville wasn't sure what to think. "But why? And why do you know about it? Harry, I want to know if Draco's alright!" He couldn't stop himself before saying it, but Harry didn't seem to have noticed anything weird.  
  "Neville, I'm sorry, but I can't tell you. Just keep it to yourself, okay? Draco should be fine." If anything, Harry seemed to try to convince himself of this fact, which confused Neville even more. "Why are you still awake?" Harry asked again.  
  "Uhm... I was just about to go to sleep." And Neville climbed the stairs to his room. He waited for Harry to come after him, but did not hear anything before he drifted off into an uneasy sleep.


	3. Cold Wind

Neville awoke too early in the morning. His roommates were still peacefully sleeping in their beds, even Harry who had an awful habit of not getting enough sleep. Even though he was still tired and could have easily got more sleep, Neville decided to get up and use the additional time before classes started. Careful not to wake anyone (though not succeeding, as he saw Dean's eyes open for a second), he changed into his robes, and after a quick bathroom visit he left Gryffindor tower.  
  The sun was rising already, but it was still too early to go to the Great Hall for breakfast. However, this had never been the boy's intention. Instead, he descended to the first floor of the castle where the hospital wing was located.  
Technically, students were allowed to go through the castle at this time, though Neville was sure that it would not be to his advantage to run into Professor Snape, so he moved quickly and without a noise. Once he arrived at the corner he was hiding behind the previous day, he listened if somebody was there - maybe behind the heavy doors - but he couldn't hear anything. Slowly, he walked towards the doors and pressed his ear against it. Madam Pomfrey seemed to be sleeping or else not around, as there was no noise to be heard. Praying for a little bit of luck, Neville pulled the door's handle. With a horrible sound the door opened, and Neville slid through it as quickly as possible before closing it slowly.  
  The rising sun shone through the big windows, colouring the otherwise plain room with golden and pink colours. The beds under the windows were all empty; all except for one. Draco Malfoy was lying in it on his back, his eyes closed but mouth slightly open. His expression let Neville shiver, it looked like a silent scream. When the boy stepped closer, he could see sweat on the Slytherin's forehead, letting his hair stick against his skin. Neville had rarely seen Draco like this, and even though he did not forget all the vulgarities he had to put up with he also remembered the times Draco had been nice to him in the last few weeks.  
Without really thinking, Neville took a cloth which was lying on the bedside table and wiped away the sweat on Draco's head. He then fixed the other boy's fringe and sat on the bed, thinking about what might had happened the previous day, when Neville had decided to not come to the bathroom again, and if he might have been able to stop whatever was happening in time to keep Draco from being hurt. It was right then - when Neville wondered which kind of injuries the Slytherin even had - when the blonde boy opened his eyes.  
  "Hello." The weakened boy's voice was raspy, but sassy all the same.  
  Neville's heart jumped and he quickly stood up and put the cloth back to where it belonged. "Hi." was all he could reply.  
  "What are you doing here, dumbass?" Draco closed his eyes again and put both of his hands on his face. (There were still no injuries visible.) The other boy would have been insulted, but he knew that Draco didn't mean it like that. How, he did not know.  
  "I wondered what happened to you." Neville answered.  
  Draco just gave a grunt.  
  "So...?" the Gryffindor pressed on. "What happened?"  
  "Still none of your business, Longbottom." And Draco opened his eyes again. His face seemed exhausted, but his eyes were on fire. "Why are you even here?"  
  "As I said-" the boy began, but the other interrupted him.  
  "The real reason, Neville."  
Neville felt somewhat pleased that Draco chose to say his first name this time, and felt like he owed his schoolmate an answer. After all, he woke him.  
  "It's true that I wanted to know what happened." Neville's voice was quieter now. "But I was worried about you, too." he mumbled.  
  "What?"  
  "Nothing!" the Gryffindor panicked.  
  "Oh no, I understood." Draco rested his head on the pillow again. "I'm alright, thanks to Snape. But it wouldn't be wise to tell you the whole story."  
  Neville nervously played with his robes. "Why not?" he asked.  
  "Because you're not supposed to know." The Slytherin's voice did not allow any further discussion, but Neville wasn't in the Gryffindor house without a reason.  
  "Why?" he asked. "Why can nobody ever tell me what's going on? You don't, and Harry doesn't, and nobody ever does!" Neville could feel anger burning inside him, and he hated the feeling. Don't get angry with him, he told himself, he's injured.  
  "You talked to Harry." It wasn't a question.  
  "Yes."  
  "But he didn't tell you anything?" Draco asked.  
  "No."  
  "Typical."  
  "What's that supposed to mean now?" Neville couldn't control himself anymore. "You are never answering questions either!"  
  "This is not about you." Draco stressed every single word.  
Just when Neville wanted to say something, Madam Pomfrey emerged from a smaller door on the opposite wall.  
  "Mister Longbottom! My patients need to rest! What are you doing here so early?" she exclaimed.  
  "I'm sorry, Madam." Neville really was. "I'll go eat breakfast now."  
  "I hope so!" The nurse looked at her patient and back at Neville. As the boy turned around and walked away, he heard someone clear their throat.  
  "Thanks for visiting." Draco's voice said.  
 Neville turned around again to look at his friend. "No probs." He returned the Slytherin's smile and nodded towards Madam Pomfrey who had a confused expression on her face. "Goodbye."  
  
~  
  
At breakfast, Neville already regretted staying up so late the previous evening. His eyes and arms felt heavy, and all he could really look forward to was Herbology in a few hours. It was the only class Neville was the best at - even better than Hermione - and as the Gryffindors shared that class with the Slytherins Neville was proud to show his skills off in front of Draco in the last few weeks. This day however, he concentrated on listening to Harry, Ron and Hermione's whispers. The sun was now hidden behind dark clouds, and it was raining heavily onto the roof of the greenhouse, which made it impossible to understand a word his friends are saying. All he could pick up was something about a book, and the name of his good friend Ginny. He saw no way in connecting these things to a whole, so he gave up and concentrated on the plant in front of him again, which resulted in another praise by Professor Sprout at the end of the lesson and five points for Gryffindor.  
  After two boring hours of History of Magic (in which Neville battled with sleep the whole time), the students went to the Great Hall again for lunch. Just as Neville tried to sit as close to his friends as possible, he noticed Draco in a small crowd of Slytherins entering the hall. There were intensely talking about something, but Neville saw his schoolmate glance at his direction for a second, which resulted in Neville hiding his blush by leaning deeply over his food.  
  The Gryffindors and Slytherins did not have another class together on the afternoon, but Neville planned on attempting to intercept Draco before he could go into the Slytherin common room after their last class. And so the shy boy found himself hiding behind a pillar in the dungeons, waiting for Draco to emerge in the hallway. A few times groups of Slytherins walked by, once it was Crabbe and Goyle, and once Pansy with a few other girls, but the blonde boy he was looking for was nowhere to be seen. After almost getting caught because of sneezing, Neville decided to give up on the mission and leave the dungeons in the next possible moment. He had practice now in moving fast and quietly, and so he managed to get to the entrance hall without being noticed.  
  Knowing that he will deeply regret not doing his homework, Neville decided to go outside, as the rain seemed to have stopped quite some time ago. As he stepped outside, the air was full of the scent of wet plants which the boy so enjoyed. It was only one of the reasons he loved plants so much. Inspired by the smell, he walked down towards the edge of the Great Lake, where a bunch of wild flowers were growing under an old tree. There weren't many people so far down here, as the wind still swept over the plains and through the few trees. It filled Neville's ears with white noise together with the sound of crashing waves, and the boy was sure that he could sleep here despite of the cold air, the wet grass. Here, in between orange and purple flowers, was Neville's place. He would come here to seek peace, and not once had he been disturbed.  
  He leaned against the trunk of the tree, using his robes against the little raindrops that were still hanging on the grass, and closed his eyes.  
  "HEY! MALFOY! WHERE'RE YOU GOING?"  
  Neville opened his eyes and found himself in the light of the dusk. His legs and bum were cold and wet, and his neck hurt from lying uncomfortable.  
  "SHUT UP GOYLE. YOU DON'T HAVE TO STICK TO ME WHEREVER I GO." The voice came from slightly to Neville's right, where he noticed Draco walking towards him. Crabbe and Goyle were standing in the distance and seemed kind of lost. When they realized that Draco did not turn around however, they walked back towards the castle grounds.  
  Neville kept his mouth shut, silently watching the blonde boy climb over a wet stone (and almost falling) and through the high grass. Draco, too concentrated to look up, began to talk only when he was meters from Neville.  
  "Hey, Longbottom. What'cha doing here?" he asked, finally standing next to him.  
  The other boy stood up and tried to reduce the damage done to his clothes. "It's still _Neville_." he snapped. "And I was just spending time by myself because I couldn't find you." His voice was calmer now.  
  "I couldn't find you either." There was a short pause in which the boys just stared into each other's eyes, waiting for the other one to continue to speak. "That's still no reason to be sitting outside on a day like this, in completely drenched robes." Draco finally said, eyeing Neville's wet clothes.  
  "Yeah." Neville said. "I should change, I'm cold as hell."  
  "Well, better not do it here. I don't want to see it, and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't enjoy it anyways." the Slytherin boy joked, and Neville chuckled.  
  "That was not the plan." The boy leaned against the tree. "What are you doing here?"  
  "I was looking for you in the Gryffindor tower, but you weren't there." Draco said. Neville could have sworn he heard a bit of self-consciousness in his voice.  
  "Well, I was searching for you in the dungeon. I think we'd be better off if we had a regular place again." he joked.  
  "No the bathroom." Draco said.  
  "Okay." Neville answered. He still wondered what had happened, but figured he rather not ask. The Slytherin boy still didn't seem like he would tell him anything about the incident. But still, he was worried. But somehow, he wasn't able to tell Draco right then. "Are you okay?" was all he could press out.  
  "Yeah, I'm alright." Draco stepped closer. "What about you?"  
  "Never have been better." Neville did not know whether that was a lie or not.  
  Draco shook his head. "You're freezing." Only when the Slytherin boy said it, Neville realized that he was right. He was shaking from his wet clothes and the wind that was still blowing over their heads.  
  "Oh, right. You are not by any chance offering me your cloak, are you?" Neville chuckled to let his friend know that he didn't mean it. Although he did.  
  "No. That's cheesy." Draco grinned. "I'd never do that."


	4. Tight Lungs

Neville had a cold on Friday, which made it almost impossible for him to do good magic, but at least the weather was better than the previous day, and when the Gryffindors and Slytherins walked to the greenhouse for Herbology the sun was shining down on them, warming their backs. The humid air in the greenhouse however did not help with Neville's breathing problems, and he sneezed and coughed himself through the lesson, till finally it was time to go to the Great Hall for lunch.  
  He and Draco had not planned a meeting when they had said goodbye the previous evening (as Neville had rushed to the Gryffindor tower to put on dry clothes), and they haven't spoken to each other since then. However, the blonde boy was all Neville could think of the whole morning. They had exchanged looks in Herbology when Pansy made a mean comment ("Oh, allergic to plants now, Longbottom? What a shame!"), but otherwise haven't interacted at all till Draco bumped into Neville when entering the Great Hall.  
  "Sorry." Draco mumbled - Neville wasn't even sure if he had noticed who he had bumped into - and sat down on the Slytherin table. Neville stared after him for a moment before realising that he blocked the way for many students, and went to sit next to Dean and Seamus to eat lunch.  
  The afternoon lessons were just as boring and uneventful as the first few, and after dinner Neville found himself walking to the Hospital Wing. He wanted to ask Madam Pomfrey if he could have a Pepperup Potion, as the Hogsmeade trip would be the next day and Neville didn't want to spend it cleaning his nose. He descended the stairs of the Gryffindor tower, stopping lots of times to sneeze. When he left through the Portrait of the Fat Lady, he saw someone in the corridor to the right, which was leading to the Room of Requirement Dumbledore's Army had used in the previous year. Curiously, Neville followed the student to the wall where the door had had become visible. It was only when the mysterious student walked by the wall three times when Neville recognized Draco. Heart beating fast, the boy thought about whether or not he should show himself. But then the door appeared, and disappeared again after the Slytherin boy had entered. It was too late now.  
  On his way to Madam Pomfrey Neville pondered about what he had just seen. Yes, Draco knew about the Room of Requirement, but Neville never thought about him using it. But now knowing that he did, it seemed stupid to think he wouldn't use the handiest room in Hogwarts. Maybe he thought Draco didn't need a room like that, or maybe he just never had an idea what the boy could use the room for. And honestly, he still didn't.  
  Neville made a mental note to ask Draco about it the next time they talked, however he was sure that he wasn't going to forget. After successfully retrieving the antidote from the hospital wing, the boy decided to use the time to do his homework, as he wouldn't have time the next day due to the trip to Hogsmeade. He couldn't wait to sit in the Three Broomsticks with Luna, Ginny, Dean and Seamus, having a free day once in a while. In this moment however it was time to do work, and so Neville got his quill and books and set off to the library.  
  
~  
  
A few dreadful hours later he was quite proud of himself for finishing most of his work at one go. He still had to ask Hermione about a certain fact in his History of Magic essay, but she had left the library about an hour ago. And there was the Potions paper, which - as always - was the only one Neville hadn't even started yet. After a long sigh, he decided to do it now, rather than on Sunday when he wanted to use his free time outside if it was warm enough, and started to search for a book about Antidotes.  
  Not long after, someone sat next to him. Neville raised his hand, hoping it was Hermione, but as he saw the face he asked himself why he even thought it could be someone else.  
  "Having fun?" Draco asked.  
  "Yeah, totally." Neville answered dryly. "Can't wait till Snape sees this."  
  "Come one, let me help you now. I still owe you one, remember?"  
  Neville grunted. "It's not even much. I just don't know how to begin." He sighed, thinking of the next two days he could spend without worrying about it. "Okay, help me then."  
And Draco gave him a few tips and pointed out a few mistakes, till finally the homework was done. The sun was already setting when they left the library.  
Just outside the door, Draco stopped.  
  "So, what are you doing now?" he asked.  
Neville was taken by surprise. "Uhm, I don't know. I don't have any plans, really."  
  "Well, you have now." Draco grinned. "We said we needed a place to meet, so we won't wait for each other in different places again, right?"  
  "Right..." Neville's voice was questioning.  
  "Let's find a place now." The Slytherin boy seemed confident with his plan. "Any ideas? No bathrooms."  
Suddenly, Neville's heart beat faster. He had just remembered something. "Room of Requirement." he said. It wasn't a question.  
  Draco's smile faded from his face. "I don't know if that's a good idea."  
  Neville continued to walk, and Draco followed him.  
  "I'm pretty sure you do." the Gryffindor boy said, quickening his pace. Draco was keeping up with him.  
  "Okay, let's do it then."  
  Neville was surprised. Then again, he knew how much his friend treasured his pride.  
  "Okay."  
When they arrived in the seventh floor and stood in front of the wall however, Draco seemed uncertain again.  
  "What do we want?" Neville asked, beginning to walk by the wall three times while Draco kept watch.  
  "I don't know. Just a room."  
  "Not helpful." Neville said, but the door had already appeared.  
The Slytherin boy backed away a step. "Neville..." His face was full of fear.  
  "Come on now, we can't hang around here forever." Neville grabbed Draco's wrist impatiently and dragged him into the room, closing the door as quickly as possible behind them.  
  The room was a lot smaller than last year when Dumbledore's Army had used it. There was a small, but comfortable-looking couch in the middle of it with a  
low table on which there stood two glasses of water. On the left wall there hung a big mirror; the right wall was covered in bookshelves.  
  "Interesting." Draco mumbled, and walked towards the couch, examining it.  
  Neville just nodded. "Why'd we need books though?"  
  Draco turned around to look at the wall of books. "You wished for this, don't ask me." He seemed curious, and looked at the opposite wall. He stared at the mirror for a while, and then walked towards it, stopping only when he was inches from it.  
  Neville followed him. "What is it?" he asked.  
  "I look..." Draco thought for a moment. "Really horrible."  
  Neville compared Draco's looks with his own reflection. "No." he observed. "Just exhausted."  
  The blonde boy said nothing, but fixed his hair and stared into his reflection a little bit longer. Neville lingered next to him, watching the other boy's reflection, not knowing what else to do. Then Draco buried his face in his hands for a second.  
  "Horrible." he groaned. "Mother always says I'm so handsome. Maybe I was." He observed himself in the mirror for a few more seconds before turning around and walking to the couch, sitting on its armrest.  
  "You still are." Neville said, following his friend as he couldn't bear to see his reflection anymore. Too much insecurity, discomfort in his own body. He knew exactly how Draco must feel, though he did not understand why the boy felt this way. He never thought about it, but Draco was indeed handsome, with his sharp face and eyes.  
  "Uhm..." Draco raised an eyebrow.  
  "Oh, I just meant... You- I can see why your mom thinks that." Neville stuttered.  
  "Well, thank you I guess." Draco replied. "She always said I will marry the most beautiful woman in the world one day. Except for her, of course." He chuckled at the memory.  
  Neville, curious about hearing more, sat on the couch facing Draco.  
  "Kind of funny -" the blonde boy continued. "- if you think about it."  
Now it was Neville's turn to raise an eyebrow. "Why?" He felt something deep in his stomach, but couldn't quite make out what it was.  
  "Oh, I never saw myself marrying someone. Not my kind of thing." Draco explained quickly.  
The feeling in Neville's stomach was gone as fast as it had appeared, but it was now replaced by another feeling, an uncomfortable one. "Oh." was all he could say.  
   Draco didn't say anything, but just looked into the other boy's eyes. It was then when Neville thought about how strange that moment was. Draco Malfoy was telling him about his family, sharing his secrets, in a room which appeared for them, and only for them. It was indeed something that Neville could have never imagined to happen, but he decided not to question it. He felt like he could trust Draco now, as a friend. He knew that the boy held some more secrets, maybe bigger one's that Neville thought, nevertheless that did not deny the fact that Draco was indeed a nice person if one treats him right or - more importantly - if he wanted to be nice. And apparently Neville had the luck of being a person Draco wanted to be nice to. He still couldn't understand why, after all the years the boy had picked on him for his lack of skill, his looks. And even though his anger was long not forgotten, for the first time in his life Neville felt like he would forgive Draco Malfoy.  
  "Stop staring at me."  
  "Huh?"  
  "You're staring at me." Draco said.  
  "Oh." Neville blinked a few times and lowered his head to hide himself blushing. He tried to remember what they had talked about. "Your mom is going to be really disappointed when she finds out."  
  "Nah. She just wanted me to experience some kind of cheesy romance because she never had one herself. My father and her.. They just did what was logical, and convenient." Draco explained, and slid down from the armrest and next to Neville.  
  The Gryffindor boy's heart started beating in an enormous speed. "So do you have one?"  
  "A what?"  
  "A cheesy romance." Neville fiddled with his clothes, staring at his legs.  
Draco grunted. "I had something with Pansy - ", Neville's heart skipped a beat, " - but she was just annoying, so eventually I broke it off. Was never into her really, but she seemed to like me so why not give it a try. I don't know why I'm telling you this, though." Draco began to laugh, and Neville joined him nervously. Then Draco leaned back more comfortably and crossed his arms, he had a mischievous grin on his face. "What about you?"  
  "No." Neville shook his head violently. "No, I don't- I mean. I never had a girlfriend." He was jealous of how relaxed Draco sat next to him. Neville himself tried to keep his shaking body as calm as possible.  
  "Thought so." Draco's grin grew bigger.  
  "What's that supposed to mean?" Neville sat upright.  
  "You're way too shy and insecure." The other boy explained, sitting upright too. "Nobody wants to have a boyfriend who is blushing at every word they say."  
  Neville was angry when he felt his face getting redder. _That was not fair_ , he thought. Draco just laughed.  
  "Although" the Slytherin boy added after having stopped laughing, "some people might call it _cute_." He perked his lips at the last word.  
The Gryffindor boy suddenly felt dizzy when he realized what was happening to him. He was falling for Draco god damn Malfoy. Unable to say a word, he concentrated on breathing. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale.  
  "So you never even kissed a girl?" Draco asked when he didn't get a reply. Neville just blinked at him. No, of course he hasn't.  
Exhale.  
  Was it his imagination or were Draco's eyes piercing into his own?  
Inhale.  
  "I'm going to take that as a no. You can still talk, can't you?"  
Exhale. "Yeah." Neville pressed out.  
  A few moments of silence.  
Inhale.  
  The blonde boy still staring at him.  
Exhale.  
  "Maybe I should rephrase my question?" Draco's voice sounded like it was coming from far away. "Have you ever kissed _someone_? A boy?"  
  Neville's heart seemed to stop. Anxiety pressed on his lungs. Draco knew. He knew, and he was teasing him for it.  
Inhale.  
  "No." was all he could manage. But it seemed enough for Draco.  
  "Me neither." the boy answered. He did not grin anymore. His eyes were not piercing any more, but soft, relaxed. Waiting.  
Exhale.  
  



	5. Soft Lips

Draco leaned forward, raised his arm and grabbed the other boy's jaw, pressing his forehead against Neville's and looking into his eyes intensely. Suddenly Neville could feel Draco's lips being pressed against his own, and the Slytherin's tight grip on his cheekbones.  
  It was like time was frozen. Neville couldn't move, no matter how strongly he told himself to do something, anything. But he couldn't, and he just sat there, eyes shut, the boy on his lips. After long seconds, Neville could finally feel their lips separating and Draco's touch vanishing.  
He opened his eyes slowly and saw his friend looking at him, breathing quickly. There was something in his eyes, but the Gryffindor could not quite make out what it was. He did not dare to move an inch.  
  "You really never have kissed someone before, huh?" Draco said in an evenly voice. He was now looking at some point in the distance behind Neville's back. Neville could feel goosebumps on his body.  
With a lot of effort, he managed to shake his head. The movement seemed to change something, to shift him into another world; as if a second ago the world had been black and white, and now everything was full of colour. He felt his heart beat faster than he had ever experienced; sweat on his forehead; his dry lips; how his back hurt from sitting in that position for too long. He could hear his own and Draco's breathing - both panting as if they had just run a mile. He looked up to the other boy, who gazed back.  
  And then, a second time, the blonde boy in front of him moved closer. He grabbed onto Neville's hair roughly. Their faces were so close again, too close to see, and Neville closed his eyes once more.  
This time, the lips of the other boy did not surprise him, and he did not feel anxiety in his chest. This time, he was able to move. And he did. He moved backwards when Draco moved forwards. He opened his lips a little when Draco did. The other boy's hands was still pulling his hair, pressing his head against the Draco's, not allowing the kiss to ever stop.  
Neville raised his hands too, and searched blindly for Draco's body. He touched the boy's neck carefully, exploring his skin. It felt cold, but soft all the same.  
  Draco hungrily pressed against Neville, forcing the boy to lean back over the side of the couch. Draco moved his hands to Neville's back and held him up, while kissing him stronger than ever. Neville dug his fingers into the other boy's skin of fear of falling. With all in his strength, Neville battled Draco to sit upright again. But once he was comfortable, the blonde boy backed away. Neville could feel disappointment and fear at the same time. Did he do something wrong?  
  Quickly, the boy opened his eyes. Draco was sitting at the other end of the couch (which was - due to the size of it -´ only a one foot further away, but compared to how close they had just been it seemed like a mile). His face wore the same expression as before, but Neville knew now what it was in Draco's eyes. Regret and anger.  
  Neville's assumptions were proven right when Draco punched the couch's backrest. "FUCK!"  
  It startled Neville nevertheless, and he sat there frozen while his friend stood up and kicked the small table, throwing the glasses to the ground where they spilled and shattered. Neville gasped and watched the boy bury his fingernails in his own face and mumble a bunch of swearwords.  
  "I'm sorry." Neville whispered, wanting to say something. He was not sure what he was sorry for, but thought it might help. Draco however spun around and just glared at him.  
  "No." the Slytherin boy said after a while with clenched teeth. He took a few steps towards the couch and grabbed Neville's robes to pull him to his feet roughly.  
  Neville shut his eyes for a moment waiting for a punch, but it didn't come. Draco was still holding onto him and panting, staring into his eyes. Then suddenly he let go with a grunt, pushing Neville back onto the couch. He spun around once again and rushed out of the room before Neville could say anything.  
  
~  
  
Neville felt an unfamiliar pain in his chest when he changed into his sleeping robes that evening.  
  _So this is heartbreak_ , he thought, but he wasn't sure. Multiple times he had to convince himself that what he had experienced had not been a dream, but reality. But however he thought of it, he could not understand what had happened, or more: why.  
  Draco had kissed him. This was a fact. But Neville wasn't sure yet because of which reason. Had the Slytherin boy feelings for him? Or was he just making on of him? And why was Draco so angry afterwards? Did Neville do anything wrong?  
  As he did not find answers to these questions, he went to bed quite early. Dean and Seamus were the only ones in the dormitory, but they were not thinking of sleeping yet. After all, it was a Friday. They chatted about their days and what they planned on doing on the next day. When Neville listened to their conversation, he wondered if he would run into Draco in Hogsmeade tomorrow. There was a quite high chance, unless Draco planned on avoiding him or staying at Hogwarts.  
  Thinking about what Draco might say to him if they met the next day, Neville dozed off.  
He was woken several hours later by Harry and Ron's voices. They had already changed, and went downstairs to eat breakfast after saying good morning. Unsurprisingly, Dean and Seamus were still sleeping. Neville did not want to wake them, and anyways he did not feel hungry at all, so he stayed in bed till it was time to finally put on warmer clothes and start the trip to Hogsmeade.  
  He changed into his robes, put on his cloak, and went to the entrance hall after a quick shower. Filch checked the students' permission sheets and let them off. Neville, who walked with Dean, Seamus and Luna, did not see Draco in the crowd in the hall or on the way to Hogsmeade. Guessing that the Slytherin boy had decided to stay in the school, Neville tried not to think of him too much and went to the Three Broomsticks with his friends. After two huge glasses of Butterbeer (the second of which Seamus had dared him to drink), Neville - slightly intoxicated for the first time in his life - decided that if was a good idea to go and find Draco. And so he set off, leaving his friends behind in the pub with the excuse of feeling slightly sick - an excuse his friends believed without questioning.  
  He was on his way out of the village when suddenly someone grabbed him and pulled him aside from the road. Instinctively, Neville struggled to fight himself free. But then he saw the familiar face and let himself get dragged a few feet to the side behind a building by Draco. Once there, the blonde boy pinned him against the hard stone wall, roughly holding Neville's shoulders in place. He seemed to try to calm himself down by taking deep breaths with closed eyes. Neville did not dare to breath and waited till Draco let go of him. The Slytherin boy muttered a few Disillusionment charms to have privacy.  
  "Hey, Draco." Neville heard himself say. The Butterbeer was still clouding his mind, and he wondered why their teachers allowed them to drink on the Hogsmeade trips.  
Draco turned around to face the slightly drunk boy. "Had a bit too much Butterbeer, Longbottom?" he mocked.  
  "'Told you to stop calling me Longbottom." Neville felt dizzy for a second and closed his eyes. Soon after he could feel Draco's breathing.  
  "I'm not sure whether this is going to be more or less fun with you in your drunk state." Draco whispered directly in front of Neville's face.  
  Neville's heart was beating quickly. He decided that it was best to show his friend that he wasn't the anxious boy he thought him to be, at least not always. So he moved his head forward a bit till their lips collided. After a short kiss, Draco pulled away and Neville opened his eyes again. He was looking at the boy's back.  
  "Okay." Draco mumbled, more to himself. "Okay..."  
  "What's okay?" Neville's voice was loud and clear.  
The Slytherin boy turned around again. He seemed to battle with himself for a few seconds, before admitting "You just ruined my plan. But I can go with it."  
  "What plan?"  
  "I wanted to ask you about yesterday." Draco's expression was urging. "I need to know what happened. But..."  
  "But now I kissed you again. Yeah." Neville added when Draco nodded. "Sorry if you did not want it."  
Draco thought for a moment. "I don't know." He came closer. "I guess you just answered half of the questions I wanted to ask." He seemed to desperately search for the right words.  
  Neville stepped away from the wall and grabbed the boy's wrist. "Like what?"  
  "If yesterday had been serious, for example." The blonde Slytherin stared at Neville's hand on his arm, but did not complain. "And if you had feelings for me."  
Neville wasn't sure whether or not this simple kiss could answer such questions, when Neville himself could not answer them, so he remained silent waiting for Draco to speak again.  
  "...because if you really think it meant something..." Draco dragged his words, thinking of what to say. "...then we should talk about it."  
  "Yeah." Neville responded. Even through his dulled mind he now understood that Draco had worried about the same things as him. He wanted to tell him, but thought that probably his friend had already figured that out.  
As if Draco could read his mind, he nodded. "I'm guessing you don't trust me."  
  "I never said that."  
  "Did you not?" The boy was now looking into Neville's eyes, but not awaiting an answer. "I just want to offer you a deal again. Don't tell anyone, and I won't tell anyone - the usual thing." Draco proposed.  
  "That's not it." Neville simply said. "That's not what I am worried about, and I'm guessing it isn't what you worry about either, thinking about the questions you mentioned." His lips seemed to move by themselves, he did not have to think about what he was going to say. "Because you and I, we are quite an unlikely pairing, aren't we?" He could hear Draco swallow.  
  "I know. But you just kissed me again, didn't you?"  
  "I wouldn't call it 'again', as it was _you_ starting to snog me yesterday." Neville blamed his words on the second glass of Butterbeer.  
  "Yes." Draco closed his eyes for a moment and sighed. "But it was you today. And that's what answered my question, you see?"  
  "No." _Being drunk is not helpful_ , Neville thought to himself. Then he realized something. "Also, I'm kinda drunk right now. Who knows, maybe I'd snog Snape if he gave me the opportunity."  
  Draco cringed at the imagination but began to laugh when he saw the grin on his friend's face. "So what you're saying is we should wait till you're sober again?"  
  "Wait with what exactly?" Neville didn't want to wait for anything to be honest, but asked anyways.  
  "Talk."  
  "No." Neville said a second time. He considered telling Draco about his impatience for a second, but then decided not to. "So what do you want to talk about?"  
  Draco slapped away Neville's hand when the boy began to move his fingers down Draco's arm, and backed away. "First, you promise." His voice was stern. "Serious or not, I can't allow anyone to know about this, alright?"  
  Neville felt offended but was reminded of the Slytherin's huge pride and nodded. "Sure, if you think I'm so bad."  
  Draco seemed to see what his words had caused. "You're not _bad_ Longbottom. Neville." he corrected himself when he saw the Gryffindor's grimace. "It's just that you're a boy." he finished in a whisper.  
  "I see." Neville stepped back till he was touching the wall with his back again. "So you don't want your reputation to be ruined, I'm guessing." It made sense to Neville and he could understand the other boy, but he still felt insulted and his drunk mind made him say everything he thought.  
  "That's not it, _Neville_." There was clear desperation in Draco's voice. "It's just... Father... And mother and-" He stopped himself before he could say something he would have regretted. He had already done enough damage by not staying in Hogwarts on that day. "... They would kill me." he finished.  
  Neville nodded. He wanted to trust his friend on this, but he wanted to be clever enough not to. "Proof it then," he commanded, "that you mean it." he added when he saw the other's confused face.  
  Draco pursed his lips and thought for a second. "I like how cheeky you are when you're drunk." He walked over to Neville and pinned him to the wall again, but this time he pressed his body against his. "I love it, actually." he muttered in a flirtatious tone. And grabbing Neville's hair, he pulled him in for a long, deep kiss, which the Gryffindor was very keen returning.  
  _This is not bad,_ he thought to himself. _I could get used to this._ And Neville let out a shy moan when Draco rolled his hips against his.  
  Draco decided that that was a good point to stop. He pulled away and let go of the boy. "This evening in the room of requirement - " he said, " - and I'll proof it to you." And he looked down the road quickly before removing the Disillusionment charms. And Draco walked away, leaving Neville behind - a mess drunk with Butterbeer and love.


	6. Wild Mind

With the help of Dean and Seamus, Neville eventually returned to the Hogwarts castle staggering, earning a few stern looks from Professors and a lecture about how dangerous producing magic in a drunken state is by Professor McGonagall. There turned out to be a rule against high intoxication in Hogwarts, but Neville managed to produce a quite good transfiguration spell when McGonagall tested him, so he was just told to go to bed and not to repeat such shenanigans with Seamus. He thanked her and walked away with his friends, but before they could enter Gryffindor tower Neville told them that he had another question to their head of the house and they should not wait for him. The boys shared a look and went through the portrait of the Fat Lady. When they were gone, Neville went off to the Room of Requirement. The door almost appeared at once when he thought about wanting to meet Draco. After looking around to make sure he wouldn't be seen, Neville entered.  
  It was almost the same room as the last time they were in it. The only remarkable difference was a noticeable bigger couch (though it had the same colour and pattern as the one before) which Draco sat on. When he saw his friend enter, the Slytherin boy grinned.  
  "I didn't think you would come." he stated.  
  "Why not?" Neville came closer. His friend seemed exhausted, he had dark rings under his eyes.  
  "Well, you're late."  
  "McGonagall scolded me for the Butterbeer." Neville explained.  
  "Right." Draco reached into a pocket in his robes and pulled out a small flask. "Here you go." He held the liquid high for the boy to grab. Neville hesitated.  
  "What is it?"  
  "Just something so you won't have a hangover tomorrow." Draco's grin grew wider when Neville took the flask and emptied it in one go, pulling a grimace at the taste. "How come you got so drunk of Butterbeer? You know, there's hardly enough booze in it for house-elves to go gaga."  
  Neville's vision instantly got sharper. "I drank two whole mugs of it." he explained.  
  "Still. Can't stand that much, can you? First time drunk too, I'm guessing."  
  "You are guessing right." Neville put the empty flask on the table and sat down next to Draco. "What's with the couch?"  
  "What about it?" Draco tapped on it a few times as to prove that it was just as good as the previous one. "I went with the subtle choice anyways. First I wanted the room to get us a huge, comfy bed."  
  There was something in Neville's stomach twirling. "Oh."  
  "Then I remembered that I'm tired." Draco continued, and yawned as demonstration. "And that you're drunk, although that antidote probably cleared your mind up a bit. Better not do anything stupid."  
  "Right." Neville was wordless. The boy who was talking to him did not sound like Draco Malfoy at all. He was nice and considerate; then again Neville had had the pleasure to meet the soft side of the Slytherin boy in the last few weeks. Despite everything there was always the well-known sass in the blonde boy's voice that Neville - and he admitted to himself, yes - had begun to love.  
  "Aw, don't tell me you didn't get the hint earlier in Hogsmeade." Draco suddenly fiddled around Neville's sleeve, which made the boy's heart beat faster.  
  "I didn't." Neville admitted.  
  After a pause, Draco spoke in a whisper. "I promise that I honestly like you." Neville had never seen Draco blush in his life. It seemed out of place on the pale boy's skin.  
  "Alright." Neville didn't know what to say. "I like you too, Draco."  
  "I know." The Slytherin boy lowered his head to hide his red cheeks. "There's no other reason you would snog Draco Malfoy, I'm sure."  
  Neville smiled encouragingly when his friend looked up again. "How come you like me?" He honestly wanted to know.  
  Draco knew what Neville meant without Neville having to tell him. The last five years Draco had bullied Neville. And although he would never say so aloud, he felt deep remorse. What had changed? "I don't know" he answered his own thoughts and Neville's question. "Somehow... you're different." Draco shook his head. "Not different from yourself in the last years. I mean different from other people."  
  "From other boys?" Neville helped.  
  "That too." Draco confirmed. "I don't know what it is." he added when Neville opened his mouth to say something again.  
  Neville accepted the end of the conversation. He had already gotten more answers than he had hoped for. He began to trust his friend.  
Draco's hand was now sliding down his arm and met Neville's hand. Without saying a word, they interlocked fingers. Then Draco shuffled closer and put a light kiss first on Neville's cheek and then his lips. Neville kissed him back more hungrily. It was easy with some of the Butterbeer still flowing through his body, and soon he leaned over Draco and sat on him facing towards him, not breaking their kisses.  
  "I... find... this... quite... entertaining." Neville muttered between the breaths. His hands had found Draco's neck and caressed it softly, while Draco's hands were on Neville's lower back, rather close to his bum.  
  Neville could feel Draco grin through the kiss and his hands move even further down his back. Neville panicked a bit and broke the kiss to put the Slytherin's hands were they had been.  
  "No?" Draco raised his eyebrows, but his expression was loving. It warmed Neville's heart to see true affection in the otherwise so cold face.  
  "No, not yet." he answered and climbed off Draco, falling on the couch next to him. It wasn't an end to the make out like it had been the first time, when Draco had run out of the room in anger and regret. The opposite was true - both boys seemed satisfied with their actions.  
  "I'm snogging Neville Longbottom." Draco was grinning again.  
  Neville chuckled. "And I'm snogging Draco Malfoy." _Son of a death eater, enemy of my best friends_ , he added in his mind.  
Draco yawned again. "I think I should be going to the dungeons. I really don't want to run into Snape on my way there." His voice was not urgent, but relaxed.  
  "Guess that's a good idea. McGonagall wouldn't be very keen to see me wandering around, especially after today."  
  "Let's go separately." Draco suggested. "Me first, I have further to go." He stood up when Neville nodded.  
  "See you, then." Neville sighed. "Tomorrow after lunch here?" he suggested.  
  "Sounds great. See you." Draco leaned down to kiss Neville goodbye and left the Room of Requirement, leaving Neville smiling.  
  
~  
  
When Neville returned to Gryffindor tower he acted a bit drunker than he actually was so that none of his friends could suspect him of drinking a potion which is usually not given out to students if not entirely necessary. In spite of the late time Harry, Ron and Hermione were still sitting in front of the fireplace in the common room. After telling them goodnight, he ascended the stairs and entered his dormitory. Dean and Seamus were still awake, huddled together in their pyjamas on Dean's bed rather closely, supposedly researching for their Potions essay, as the Potions book lay opened in front of them.  
  "Hey." Neville nodded and made sure he seemed drunk as well as tired. He did not want to engage in a conversation. The boys stared at him before backing up from each other.  
  "Hey big boy." Neville heard a grin in Seamus voice as he changed into his sleeping robes. "Did you have fun?"  
  Neville's heart gave a jolt. There was no way Seamus knew, or was there? "What do you mean?" He tried to sound indifferent as he let himself fall into bed.  
  "Whatever you were up to in your state. Hopefully you didn't shag McGonagall." Seamus joked and the other boys laughed.  
  "You were gone quite some time is what Seamus wants to say." Dean explained to Neville, who sat upright to look at his friends. The way there were close together again reminded him of Draco. How nice it would be to cuddle with the Slytherin boy. But he would have to wait.  
Seamus stood up and put the Potions book on his bed. "You can put out the lights if you want."  
  Neville did as told, as he felt his eyelids getting heavier and heavier. He searched for a comfortable position and closed his eyes, trying not to think of Draco. He heard some shuffling and whispers, and fell asleep.  
  He awoke hours later from a loud noise outside the window. He searched for his wand on his bedside table and whispered "Lumos!" Harry and Ron were sleeping in their beds, as was Dean. Seamus' bed was empty.  
  Neville's heart pace quickened as he stumbled over to the bed. The Potions book was still lying were his friend had put it a few hours ago. Hectically, he looked around for a clue. Suddenly he spotted Seamus, cuddled up against Dean in the other boy's bed. Both were breathing peacefully. Neville grinned broadly as he returned to his own bed. Never would he have guessed his friends to be more than... well, friends. He had had no idea.  
There was the noise outside again and Neville stepped towards the window. It was storming outside, but no rain. The heavy wind carried twigs and branches through the air and against the windows of the castle. It looked just like Neville imagined his own mind in the last few days. Wild and full of surprises; dangerous yet appealing. He went to bed again thinking about whether or not to confront Dean and Seamus about their relationship the following day.  
  
~  
  
On Sunday morning Neville awoke alone in the dormitory. The sun was shining in through the windows, but the wind had hardly lessened. The boy looked at his clock to find out that breakfast was already ready. Quickly he changed and ran down to the Great Hall before all the best foods were gone. As usual on weekends, he was not the only one who was late. The benches weren't as full as on weekdays, but everyone was talking louder and more enthusiastically. He sat down next to Ginny and Luna and enjoyed his breakfast. Once or twice he stole a glance towards the Slytherin table, but Draco was not to be seen, just like Dean and Seamus.  
When breakfast was done, Neville decided to go down to the Great Lake and sit under the tree between the flowers as he had done not long ago. He hoped Draco would appear just like last time, but the chances were slim. Anyways, they had agreed to meet in the afternoon, so Neville had something to look forward to.  
The boy went up to his room to put on the warmest clothes he could find against the wind, and grabbed a book about magical plants he had borrowed from the library. Just as he wanted to go, Dean dragged Seamus into the room by his hand, both grinning. When the boys noticed Neville Dean lowered his head and Seamus blushed.  
  "I know you know. Shush!" Seamus put his index finger against his lips. He raised an eyebrow questioning Neville if he had understood. Neville nodded and smiled, then left the two boys alone.  
  Once outside, Neville did definitely not regret putting on his thickest cloak. The wind was pulling on his clothes and messing with his hair, slapping cold drops of the Great Lake's water against his face, so he had to squint his eyes to see. With greatest difficulties he managed to walk down to the edge of the lake to 'his' tree. Here too, the wind had messed with everything. Despite it being April, the storm had ripped leaves off the trees which were now dancing around between the crooked flowers. Neville soon gave up on reading - not wanting to ruin the book - and just stared at the huge waves in the lake, thinking.  
  Whatever was going on between Dean and Seamus was a secret, just like whatever Neville and Draco had. The difference was that the Gryffindor and Slytherin had more than one reason for keeping it a secret. For Neville, being openly gay wouldn't be a problem. His friends would all know if there had been a good moment or reason to tell them, but there hadn't been. Till now. Draco however mentioned that it would be a problem for him, and Neville promised not to tell, and he intended to keep that promise. He knew the Malfoy family, and how cruel and judging they could be, and didn't want to put his friend or himself in danger. Apart from that, he and Draco were not what someone would call a 'good couple' - although Neville thought they were. He closed his eyes as he imagined telling Harry about the secret meetings and kisses he had shared with the Slytherin boy. His friend would tell him to not trust Draco, to stop whatever was going on as soon as possible, that Draco used him to get information. But Neville had learned to trust Draco, despite the many secrets. After all, Neville had secrets too.  
There was a pain in Neville's chest when he thought about Dean and Seamus again. He was happy for them, especially because Dean had just broke up with Ginny. Although they seemed to keep their relationship secret, Neville was jealous of how easy it would be for them to decide to not keep it a secret anymore, which was not an option for Neville and Draco.  
  Neville opened his eyes as he heard voices. Two figures were walking down from the castle grounds to the edge of the lake. When they came closer, Neville recognized Harry and Ginny, and walked up to them to greet them.  
  "Hey Neville, man what are you doing out here?" Harry asked him.  
  Neville showed him the book he had brought. "Just reading. And you?"  
  Harry and Ginny exchanged looks. "We needed a bit of space from all the people." Ginny smiled politely.  
  "Oh." Neville got the hint. "Anyways, I'm going back inside. Have fun you two."  
  He stomped up to the castle and turned around when he reached the castle grounds. Harry and Ginny were sitting closely next to each other on a rock. He smiled. It seemed like Ginny and Dean's break-up had resulted in more than one unexpected romance.  
  Neville turned around again and entered the school, then walked up to Gryffindor tower. When he arrived in the common room, he noticed that he had still time before lunch. Spontaneously he decided to take a shower, as he was going to meet Draco in a few hours. He knocked on his dormitory and waited for a sound (someone said "Yeah?") before entering. Dean and Seamus were sitting awkwardly upright in Dean's bed, their hair messy. Neville instantly had to grin.  
  "Stop that stupid grinning, boy!" Seamus laughed at Neville's crooked smile. Dean threw his pillow at Neville, who caught in and joined the laughter.  
  "Sorry, but you couldn't be more obvious." Neville didn't stop grinning when he put away his cloak and pullover.  
  "And you are the master of secrets, right." Dean mocked him.  
  Neville didn't say anything as he retrieved fresh clothes from his trunk. "I'm going to take a shower." he stated and turned around. His friends were holding hands, and did not stop when they saw him looking at them. Jealousy flew through Neville as he walked towards the door. Was there a chance that he could ever be so open about his relationship with Draco?  
  "That's all right with us." Seamus moved closer to his friend, still grinning.  
  "I'll be back soon." Neville warned them before leaving the room. His friends weren't there anymore when he returned. He decided to spend the last few minutes before lunch returning his books to the library, where he met Hermione, who was helping Ron with their homework. They went down to eat lunch together and joined Harry and Ginny, as well as Dean and Seamus who were talking to Luna at the table.  
  Neville couldn't find Draco at the Slytherin table again.


	7. Sincere Words

Neville was waiting in the Room of Requirement. He had promised to meet Draco there after lunch, and even though he had not seen his friend during the meal, he kept his promise. Neville's fears came true as he sat on the couch in the room, waiting for Draco in vain. He kept himself entertained by skimming through the books in the bookshelf for an hour. (Which were proved to be in need, Neville admitted, thinking back at when he wondered what they would need the books for) Draco still didn't show up.  
  After thirty more minutes, Neville wondered if he had been foolish to trust the Slytherin boy. Maybe Draco was waiting in front of the door of the Room of Requirement with Crabbe and Goyle and laughed his ass off, waiting for him to come out crying. Neville decided that he would not give the other boy this satisfaction and lied down on the couch, closing his eyes. The lack of sound in the small room left Neville alone with his thoughts, which he couldn't stop from flooding into his mind in great numbers. Draco could have just forgot to come. Or he was sick, which would explain his absence at lunch. Or maybe Neville was right about Draco pranking him. Would that mean that he had played with Neville's feelings all along?  
He drifted into sleep with wet eyes.  
  Not long after, he awoke at the sound of opening and closing doors. In case it wasn't Draco - or in case it was Draco (Neville didn't know which would be worse) he pretended to be asleep and didn't move. He heard footsteps coming nearer, and a sigh. A hand grabbed Neville's arm.  
  "Hey buddy." Draco's voice sounded exhausted, just as Neville felt.  
  Neville moved his arm so that Draco would put his hand away. He did not want the boy touching him. "Hey." he murmured silently.  
  "I'm sorry."  
At these words Neville opened his eyes to look at Draco. The boy looked like he had just battled Merlin. Dark bags under his eyes, sweaty hair, untidy robes.  
  "I'm sorry." Draco repeated. His voice was shaking. Neville sat upright to face him. "I had to... He..." Draco stuttered, then gave up. His eyes begged Neville to accept the apology without a proper excuse.  
And Neville did. He did not care if he would regret the decision later. In this moment, he saw true remorse and fear in Draco's eyes. It was enough for him. He hugged Draco tightly for a few moments and whispered "I forgive you." into his ear before letting go. "I just thought you wouldn't come."  
Draco thanked him by nodding, then he cleared his throat. "But now I'm here."  
  "You are." The boys looked into each other's eyes trying to find out what the other one was thinking about.  
Draco sat next to Neville and supported his own head with his hands. "I'm so done."  
  "We could meet in the evening if that's better for you." Neville secretly hoped that Draco did not want to, otherwise he had waited all this time for almost nothing.  
The Slytherin boy looked up. "Really?" His voice was hopeful, then he caught himself again and continued speaking in his usual Malfoy-voice. "Yeah, let's do it like that."  
Neville nodded and stood up. "After dinner, and not later." He was already walking towards the door when Draco exclaimed his name.  
  "Neville! Wait." Draco followed him to the door, grabbed him and pulled into a passionate kiss. Neville did not refuse, and melted into the other boy's arms. After a few moments their lips separated, and they hugged again.  
  "See you?" Neville asked.  
  "Promise." Draco's smile was reassuring, and Neville turned around and left the room.  
  
~  
  
After dinner (during which he had been avoiding to answer Draco's gaze from the Slytherin table), Neville retreated to his dorm in Gryffindor tower. He was glad when he found it empty, and took his time to change into prettier clothes - He did not want to be the first one in the Room of Requirement today.  
When he was fully dressed, Neville neatly folded his other clothes and put them on his bed. Then he chatted a few minutes with Ginny in the common room, making excuses why he spent so little time with her in the last few days ("I'm really trying to get better marks in Potions, you know?"). Then finally, after a quick visit to the bathroom, he set off to the Room of Requirement.  
  Neville sighed in relief as he saw Draco already waiting for him on the couch. He seemed tidier now, as well as rested. When Neville stepped closer, the boy began to talk.  
  "I really hope you forgive me for being such an arse." His words seemed genuine.  
  "I do." Neville ignored the weird feeling in his stomach and kissed the blonde boy on the cheek. "I was scared, that's all."  
  "Of what?" Draco smiled at the kiss but did not look Neville into the eyes.  
  "Of you pranking me. Or lying to me. But also that something happened to you." Neville answered truthfully.  
Draco sighed. "I know it can be hard to trust me. I wish it was easier, too, really." He leaned against the other's side, grinning, and took Neville's hand into his own.  
  Neville did not reply as he wanted to drop the topic. Instead, he noticed "You smell really nice."  
Draco chuckled. "Yeah. I took a shower before dinner."  
Neville smiled and cuddled more into his friend. They sat in comfortable silence for a minute or two.  
  "Neville?" Draco asked timidly after a while. "We could shower together sometime." he suggested.  
Neville's heart started to beat in a faster pace.  
  "... If you want to." Draco added after seeing Neville's expression.  
The other boy suddenly felt sick. "I- I've-" he stuttered.  
Draco patiently waited for an answer, but none came.  
  "Let me guess, you have never shagged anyone before?"  
Neville swallowed. "Yeah." he pressed out.  
  "That's okay because that wasn't what I suggested." Draco leaned so close to Neville's face that the boy could feel his breath on his lips. "Just having a bit o' fun. Without all these annoying clothes." Draco whispered as he slithered his arm under the boy's sweater.  
Neville began to sweat nervously when he felt his friend's cool hands touching his abdomen, slowly gliding upwards. He saw a grin on Draco's face before the Slytherin boy connected their lips for a slow kiss. It was different than all their kisses before. Not shy, not over the top or messy, but passionate yet calm.  
With time, Neville relaxed under Draco's touch and raised his arms to touch his friend's back beneath his shirt as the kiss became stronger. Without a warning, he could feel Draco's tongue on his lips, begging to enter. He opened his lips, and soon he could feel the Slytherin's tongue touching his own. Scared of doing something wrong, he let the boy explore his mouth without doing the same.  
Before the kiss could become sloppy, Draco pulled away.  
  "Take off your shirt." Draco panted while struggling to get out of his own. He let if fall to the ground.  
Neville wasn't moving. His eyes were fixed on Draco's upper body. It looked frail, with a touch of past muscularity recognizable. It was only when he noticed Draco staring back at him intensely, that he decided - without knowing why he actually did it - to pull off his sweater. He instantly began to blush when Draco leaned on him with his complete weight, stroking his chest with both his hands.  
Neville felt hot and had goosebumps at the same time when Draco began to put kisses all over his chest. Not wanting to hurt him, Neville cautiously stroked over the boy's shoulders, down his sides to his hips. Neville's mind seemed not to function properly, like he had drank to much Butterbeer again. A silent moan escaped his lips when Draco licked over his nipple.  
The Slytherin boy raised his head to look into Neville's eyes. Draco's pupils were big, his lips curled up to a grin.  
  "Are you enjoying it?"  
  "I am." Neville admitted, more to himself than anyone else.  
  "Me too." Draco gave him a short kiss. "You look amazing, big boy." he flirted, his hands fumbling around Neville's jeans.  
The Gryffindor boy took Draco's hands in his own softly. "Another time." His voice was only a whisper. "And I do not look amazing. You do, though."  
  Draco shook his head. "Thank you. But I wasn't lying." He shuffled a bit to kiss Neville's belly. "I love every bit of you." The moment he said it, Draco's expression changed from gentle to horrified. "I mean... I just-"  
  It was finally Neville's turn to have a broad grin on his face while the other one was blushing and babbling excuses. "I love you, too." The words escaped Neville's lips without a thought about the consequences.  
  Draco's expression didn't change as he stood up and picked up his shirt from the floor. "Good that we sorted that out." he simply said while putting on his shirt. "See you."  
  Neville stood up quickly to stop Draco before he could leave the room. It was ridiculous, he thought to himself, how they had to stop the other one from leaving too fast every time. He wrapped his arms around the blonde boy, ignoring his struggles to fight himself free, and kissed Draco one more time. Although the boy seemed to relax, Neville noticed that his friend was shaking. "See you." he whispered into Draco's ear before letting go.  
  Draco turned around after punching Neville playfully in the stomach, and walked out of the room.  
Neville grinned after him. Draco had just tried to hide his smile from him, as if even he understood how absurd the situation was. Maybe, he thought, this was going to work out after all.  
  
~  
  
It was only when he climbed the stairs of the Gryffindor tower that Neville noticed that they hadn't agreed on another meeting. He was sure though that they would find the right time to meet again, even if it was only in the hallways in-between lessons.  
  Ron, Dean and Seamus were in their dorm. Neville nodded towards Ron when entering, but the boy barely noticed his presence as he was studying for one of their upcoming exams. Dean and Seamus were eating sweets on Seamus' bed. The sheets and the ground were covered in wrappers.  
  "God, how many have you eaten?" Neville sat down on his bed and watched his friends giggle.  
  "Just a few." Seamus joked, and Dean roared with laughter. Suddenly, all the wrappers soared up into the air and rained down on them.  
  "Shhh, I'm trying to read here." Ron's wand was pointed at them, his face was grim.  
  "Okay, okay." Dean put another one of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans in his mouth. "Mmmh. Blueberry. Wanna taste?"  
Seamus nodded and they connected their lips for a short kiss. Neville could feel blood rushing towards his face. Hectically, he looked over to Ron. The boy had turned his back to the other boys and was reading again. He didn't seem to have noticed anything weird.  
Neville's friends giggled again, and Neville decided to leave them, wanting to disturb neither them nor Ron. Conveniently, he had planned on taking a shower anyways. He did not tell his friends though, as he had already showered in the morning, and Dean and Seamus were bound to ask questions Neville wasn't comfortable enough with them to answer.  
  Every time Draco popped up in Neville's head - without a shirt, sitting on him - he felt something he hadn't felt in quite a while. And he decided to do something against that.  
  The bathroom was empty when Neville entered. He sighed gladly as he entered one of the shower cubicles and started to undress.  
The water was comfortably warm on Neville's skin, and as he closed his eyes to wet his hair Draco's suggestion came into his mind again.  
  _We could shower together sometime._  
Neville felt himself harden as he imagined Draco being in here with him. Self-doubt piled up inside Neville. Could Draco actually want that? Neville would be lying if he said that he hadn't imagined it too, how it would be to sleep with the Slytherin boy. Then again, Draco had asserted that he did not mean it like that. _Just fun without clothes._ Neville could only think of one other meaning, and decided to do it in that moment, to release the tension that had been building up inside him since his meeting with Draco.


	8. New Love

Neville's assumption about meeting Draco in-between lessons came true. Although, the first time that they were alone it was already Wednesday afternoon. They had just had Defence against the Dark Arts with Professor Snape, and Neville and Draco should be rushing after their fellow classmates to go to the greenhouses, but they both trailed behind to talk.  
  "Hey Draco." Neville greeted his friend. He had prepared what to say to the boy in the last few days, but nothing of it would come over his lips.  
  "Hey," Draco stopped in his tracks completely and wrapped his free arm around Neville's shoulders, pulling him closer. "I'm sorry for leaving so quickly. I just..." He sighed. "... I was quite embarrassed, actually."  
  Neville knew how much it meant that Draco opened up to him. It was usually quite hard for the Slytherin boy to be honest about himself, Neville knew that, and he - Neville - was very thankful that he was one of the people Draco could be so sincere with. He smiled.  
  "At least you stop making fun of me now, right?" Neville joked. He looked up and down the hallway to see it deserted, and kissed Draco on the cheek.  
  "Ah, I don't know about that." They boy had a huge grin on his face. "The Slytherins have a match against the Ravenclaws on Friday afternoon, just for fun. I'm not playing, but I'm there. You could come to."  
  Neville wasn't sure about the 'fun' part of the match when it was Slytherin playing, but he nodded anyways. "I'll try to come. So we meet there?" The question seemed innocent, but both boys knew that it decided whether or not they showed themselves in public. Just as friends, Neville was sure, but it meant something big all the same.  
  Draco thought for a moment. "Yeah, maybe. We'll see." He kissed Neville on the lips before letting go of the boy. "Go to the greenhouses now, Sprout would be devastated to find you absent. Not so much me."  
  Neville chuckled. "Alright. 'You not coming?"  
  "Sure, I'll just wait a few more minutes. You know-" He didn't have to finish the sentence.  
The other boy shot a friendly glance at him and rushed out.  
  
~  
  
They did not have a private moment till Friday, so Neville was glad he had agreed to come. After lunch he walked up to the dorm to get warmer clothes. Before he could put them on, the door opened and all his dorm mates entered.  
  "Ah, there he is." Dean observed, nodding towards Neville. "We were searching for you, mate."  
  "Yeah, I'm here." Neville put his clothes back on his bed and shot a questioning look towards Harry and Ron, who seemed just as confused as he was.  
  "Alright, we want to say something." Seamus announced, closing the door. He was moving closer to Dean as the other boys sat down on their beds. Neville had a suspicion of what was coming and felt himself blush.  
  "Go on, I have all the time in the world." Ron said sarcastically. Harry leaned over to punch him in the arm playfully. Seamus and Dean just smiled.  
  "Guys..." Neville said timidly. "You don't have to do this." He felt Harry and Ron's glances on his side but did not look at them.  
  "Actually," Dean started. "I do think that we should to this."  
  "You already know of course," Seamus interjected. "But we want to make this official now."  
Neville groaned and buried his face in his hands. He could not stand the tension.  
  The two boys now addressed Harry and Ron. "We're a couple." Seamus said.  
Neville turned around to watch the reaction of his friends.  
  "What." Ron's expression was hilarious.  
  "We're together." Dean repeated and kissed his boyfriend on the lips as demonstration. He began to grin.  
  Harry grinned just as much. "I'm happy for you two."  
  "Thank you."  
Now everyone was staring at Ron, and Ron was staring back at them.  
  "You... What? No. You're joking, right?"  
  "Ron..." Harry nudged his friend. "You don't seriously think that, do you?"  
Suddenly Ron looked at Neville.  
  "You knew?"  
Neville was taken by surprise, but nodded.  
  "Oh my god." The ginger boy let himself fall on his back. "I swear to god, if I hear you two fucking in here, I will CURSE you!"  
The tension seemed to finally break as all the other boys started to laugh. Ron joined them after the shock had worn off.  
  "Thanks for being so understanding." Dean wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, and they kissed again. "I promise you won't hear us fuck."  
Ron groaned loudly and stood up. "Come on, Harry, we've got stuff to do."  
Harry glanced at Dean and Seamus apologetically as he passed them. "See you."  
After the doors had closed behind them, Neville stood up and hugged his friends. "You're really brave."  
  "Thanks, but no. It just seemed like the right thing to do." Dean answered.  
Neville nodded in agreement, but his mind was full of images of Draco. For the two of them, keeping their relationship a secret was the right thing to do. Neville felt jealousy in his chest. He couldn't deny that he was quite proud of being Draco's lover-or-maybe-soon-boyfriend.  
  "I'll go now, too." Neville said, grabbing his cloak and putting it on. "Have fun."  
The scene he had just experienced filled his thoughts, and minutes later Neville found himself on the Quidditch field. The game had not yet begun, but some spectators were already waiting on the stands. Walking closer, he recognized Draco in a small group of Slytherins that were not sitting far away. Pansy Parkinson and Blaise Zabini seemed to have a conversation with him.  
Deciding that he did not want to be noticed, Neville sneaked up the stairs and sat on the very last bench in the corner closest to where he was standing. The moment he sat down, the players entered the field in their Quidditch robes, and soared in the air a few moments later. As Neville wasn't much of a Quidditch fan if there was no Harry around to cheer for, he watched Draco and his friends during the game. Instead of cheering and clapping they were mostly shouting mean stuff to both teams and groaning when the Slytherin team made a mistake.  
  There was a loud "Booo!" when someone tried to push another player off his broom, and a third player called for a time-out to settle the argument.  
_So much to fun_ , Neville thought. Bored, he looked over to his friend again. His heart gave a jolt when he unexpectedly saw the three Slytherins staring back at him. Pansy said something Neville couldn't understand, and Draco replied with a grim face. Then the boy stood up and walked towards Neville, whose heart was beating quite fast. He wished he knew his friend better, as he waited for Draco to come close enough to talk. The boy could be up to anything, and his friends were watching.  
  "Longbottom." Draco's voice was loud and firm, but his was face relaxed. "You came." he added in a much quieter tone, so that his fellow Slytherins couldn't hear.  
  "I did." Neville tried very hard not to smile.  
  "Sorry about them." Draco continued. "I didn't know they would want to come, too. I'll have to pretend to say something rude to you now."  
Neville turning around insulted was not an act, although he was sure Draco didn't realise.  
  "So it _was_ a waste of time coming here." Neville tried to put as much disappointment in his voice as possible, hoping it would make Draco feel guilty.  
Draco grabbed his arm and turned him around before pushing him against the wooden wall roughly. Cheers erupted from Blaise and Pansy.  
  "I can't do this, okay?" They boy's voice was just a whisper. "Go now, and wait for me under the stands. I'll meet you there as soon as the match's over and these annoying brats are gone, okay?"  
  Apparently it had worked. Neville breathed a silent "Okay", and Draco let go of him. Suddenly, Neville saw his own fist raise and punch Draco in the shoulder. He didn't know why he had done it. It hadn't even been hard, he had barely touched him.  
Draco grinned at him before putting on his angry face again, and turned around to walk back to his friends.  
Neville decided it was time for him to go, too, and he descended the stairs down to the ground. When he glanced around once, he saw Draco rubbing his shoulder excessively and complaining to his friends. A grin crept over Neville's face. How much of an asshole Draco might be, he could now count on him to be on his side. With this thought in mind, he left the Quidditch field and searched for a hiding spot under the stands. He sat on the cool grass, listening to the sound of the continued match till they finally faded away.  
  He watched a few Slytherin and Ravenclaw students leave, and a few minutes later the players. Draco appeared not long after.  
  "There you are." Draco greeted him. "I'm sorry you had to wait." He offered his hand to Neville.  
  Neville grabbed it gratefully and stood up. His bum felt cold and wet from sitting in the grass for so long, and his fingers felt a bit stiff. "It's okay. Next time you could tell me though. If you're not planning on spending time with me, I mean."  
  Draco seemed guilty. "I really wanted to. As I said, I didn't think those asshats would come too. They said they didn't want to come at first." He closed both of his hands around Neville's.  
Neville came closer buried his head in Draco's shoulder.  
  "But now we're together." he muttered into the boy's cloak.  
  "Wait." Draco whispered and pushed Neville away carefully. Then he turned around and spoke a few Disillusionment charms so they wouldn't be seen or heard. When he was done, he pulled Neville into a hug.  
  "I hate to say sorry all the time." Draco admitted, and grabbed Neville tighter.  
  "You don't have to. I know when you are sorry by now." Neville said and grinned. Then he put a kiss on Draco's lips. They were warm and soft, very different from his own in that moment.  
Draco only grunted and kissed Neville back. They stood there for a while, holding hands, their foreheads pressed together.  
  "You know, I've been thinking..." Draco started after a while.  
Neville felt sick instantly. "About what?" he breathed.  
  "Us, publically."  
The Gryffindor boy sighed in relief at the second word. "Go on."  
  "There's no way for our... relationship to be public. We can't do it unless we put ourselves in danger. I know that you don't understand, and I'm not asking you to understand. I just want you to trust me, even though you have no reason to."  
  "We already talked about this." Neville reminded him. "So you don't want your family to know - That's okay." He swallowed. "I'm okay with that." Neville hoped that his friend couldn't hear the lie in his voice.  
  "Yeah." Draco pulled away and leaned on one of the wooden supports next to them. "But... If we are careful, we can at least be friends in public, don't you think?"  
Neville felt a smile creep over his lips. "Yes. Yes, yes, yes!" he piped.  
The other boy did not seem to like his enthusiasm.  
  "Neville, this still puts you in danger." he informed his friend. "But it's a lot safer than you being my boyfriend publically."  
  Neville choked at these words. "We're...?" He couldn't remember Draco ever using the word 'boyfriend' before.  
Draco looked like he had only now realised what he had said.  
  "Oh." The Slytherin boy seemed stunned. "I- I just thought, that we were." He pushed his body away from the supports and stood upright again. "Aren't we? Like, technically, it's what we are, isn't it?"  
  "Technically, yes." Neville smiled. He himself had tried to avoid mentioning this topic, but he was glad they talked about it now. Maybe soon he could be sure about whatever is going on between the two of them. "So you are my boyfriend?" He asked timidly.  
  "Hmmmm." Draco pretended to think. He stepped closer, an eyebrow raised. "Ask me to be your boyfriend." he teased, and touched Neville's fingers slightly.  
  Neville grinned like a child. "Will you, Draco Malfoy," His voice was exaggeratedly official, "be my boyfriend?"  
  Draco tightened his grip around Neville's hand. "Yeah, that sounds nice." He joked in a whisper. They were both grinning now.  
  "Nice." Neville repeated, and started to kiss his now-official-boyfriend. It wasn't much different, Neville admitted to himself.  
But now he had the confirmation he had needed all that time. That he, Neville Longbottom, was god damn Draco Malfoy's boyfriend.


	9. Quick Heartbeat

They stood under the stands for a while, their bodies entwined, kissing. Neville could feel his body heat up when Draco began to move his arms everywhere - into Neville's hair, down his neck, touching his back and bum. Their lips were crashing together after every breath, and they were tripping over their own feet when Draco pulled Neville towards him before pushing him against the wooden column behind them.  
  "So far..." Draco's voice was sore. "... I enjoy being your boyfriend." He breathed in-between the kisses.  
Neville was not capable of stopping the kiss to answer, and so he just let his arms travel down the sides of Draco's body. He wished the clothing would just disappear, but he couldn't tell him. However, Draco seemed to have a similar idea. The boy removed his hands from Neville's shoulders and started fumbling around Neville's trousers. Neville felt himself blush when he felt Draco pulling it down his hips.  
  "Draco... We're in public." He was sweating now, and shivered when the cold air brushed over his skin.  
  "I put on charms, remember?" Draco reminded him impatiently. He grabbed Neville's face with one hand, and his hips with the other. "No one can see us. Or hear us." His fingers were caressing Neville's cheek softly.  
  "Are you sure?" Neville whispered.  
  "I am." Draco pressed his lips against his boyfriend's for a short kiss. "Besides... Who would go here today anyways?" he added when a strong gust of wind blew around them, making them both shiver. Neville could feel the coldness through his boxers and craved for Draco's warmth.  
  "Okay." Neville sighed, and pulled Draco closer, so that he could feel his boyfriend's body on his. Draco seemed pleased and kissed him again, pressing his hips against the other's. During the kiss he started to grind his body against Neville, who breathed quiet moans into his mouth. Proudly, Draco started to move even more, pressing his hips harder. Their kiss became sloppier, till it was only Draco forcing his own mouth on Neville's in-between the boy's moans. Draco could feel his own erection in his pants and paused his movement for a moment to figure out what he was doing. At the lack of contact Neville bucked his hips forward, desperate for more. Draco grinned.  
  A sigh escaped Neville's lips when he felt Draco's hand on his boxers. He was sure that Draco felt his hard cock through the thin fabric. He could feel his blood rushing into his cheeks when Draco started palming him through the piece of clothing.  
  "Dr- Draco, holy shit." he whimpered. "Please-"  
Draco cut him off by pressing their lips together. Draco's fingers were now following the clear outline of Neville's erection in his shorts. Neville felt dizzy when Draco started to move and press and grab, and he threw his head back against the column, panting. Draco put rough kisses on his neck. The hot breath tickled Neville, but all he could concentrate on was Draco's hand on his crotch.  
  "Neville, Neville.... Neville." Draco repeated his boyfriend's name in whispers while continuing to kiss Neville's neck. His other hand had found Neville's pants, and he was pulling them down slowly. "Neville... Okay? Okay?" He asked for permission, now kissing Neville's lips repeatedly.  
  "Yeah, yeah." Neville breathed. He opened his eyes for the first time in minutes. His insecurities seemed to shrink when he saw Draco's face, as red and puffy as his own, a concentrated expression on his face as the two boys watched Draco slowly pull down Neville's underwear to where his trousers were, exposing his erection to the cold wind outside.  
Neville shuddered at the cold touch of Draco's hand on his dick, but it was soon forgotten when Draco started stroking him. Neville pulled Draco's hair, trying to control himself. Whimpers left his mouth once in a while, then groans and moans as Draco moved his hand faster and faster. Pearls of sweat appeared on the boy's foreheads despite the cold weather. Too soon Neville could feel the familiar warmth bottling up in his stomach. He let go of Draco's hair and put his hand on Draco's quickly.  
  "Stop... I'm..." Neville groaned at Draco's facial expression. His eyes had a mischievous shimmer as he stroke Neville's cock even faster. "Draco..." he whined, not able to hold it back any longer. With a loud moan he came all over Draco's fist and the grass beneath them. Draco moved his hand up and down a few more times, then he mumbled a cleaning spell and tucked his boyfriend's dick back into his clothes before Neville could feel the cold wind, which was now blowing stronger than before.  
Neville relaxed as many muscles as he could while standing up, and did not complain when Draco let his body fall against his. They were both still panting. Neville's mind was racing as his sight became clearer again. Only as Draco grabbed his hands he noticed how numb they felt.  
  "You're cold." Draco whispered after kissing Neville's neck a few more times. His voice was so full of love that Neville wondered whether it was really Draco Malfoy who he believed to be his boyfriend.  
  "Yeah. You're hot." Neville replied and chuckled. He sighed and leaned his head on Draco's shoulder.  
  "You should go inside."  
  Neville closed his eyes. "I should."  
After a few minutes, Draco pulled away and helped his boyfriend stand upright.  
  "You go in now and warm yourself up." he insisted.  
  "But what about you?"  
  "I'll go in later. I'm not the one freezing." Draco nodded towards Neville's shaking body, then put a kiss on his lips.  
  "No, I mean..." Neville found it weird that he still was too ashamed to say it out loud.  
  Draco began to grin. "You can return the favour another time." He put his wand out of his pocket and removed the charms around them. "Tomorrow afternoon, Prefects' bathroom?" he suggested.  
  Neville tried hard not to return the grin. "Okay." he answered without thinking, and hugged his boyfriend tightly as a goodbye.  
  "See you, then." Draco kissed Neville after a short glance at the castle grounds, and let go of him.  
  "Bye." Neville smiled. "... And thank you."  
  
~  
  
The warmth inside the castle made Neville feel dozy. Reliving the most recent events in his mind, he walked up to Gryffindor tower. The common room was full of students studying and doing homework together. He spotted Ron and Hermione next to the fire, and Dean and Seamus in the big, comfy seat in a corner. The fact that none of the other Gryffindors seemed to mind the two guys sitting so close together and kissing told Neville that his friends were a truly official couple now.  
  _Just like Draco and me_ , Neville thought to himself as he climbed the stairs to grab his showering stuff. _Except we can't tell people..._  
  After a long, relaxing shower during which Neville had tried (and failed) to sort his thoughts and feelings out, he descended the stairs to the Great Hall for dinner. Most people have already finished eating, but he sat down next to Ginny, Dean and Seamus who were discussing something about Defence against the Dark Arts.  
  "He's still a god damn boring, teacher. Oh hey, Neville." Dean smiled at Neville as the boy sat down.  
Neville listened to the conversation of his friends while shoving as much food as he could on his plate. When he had eaten it all, he reached for one of the muffins in front of him and let his glance wander around the hall. Draco had entered when Neville had already been eating, and so he was still leaned over his plate. He seemed to enjoy his meal silently, without talking to any of the Slytherin students sitting around him, which was unusual. Draco's wet hair made Neville smile at the thought of his boyfriend having the same good idea as him: taking a long, hot shower after the coldness of the wind.  
He looked up at the enchanted ceiling of the hall and saw dark rain clouds. As he looked down again, he noticed Draco staring at him. Their eyes interlocked for a moment, and they grinned at each other, then Draco continued eating and seemed to engage in some kind of conversation with his friends. Neville let his glance wander further, and stopped when he noticed his good friend Luna looking over to him, smiling. Quickly he lowered his gaze and finished his muffin, before saying goodnight to Ginny and swiftly leaving the Great Hall.  
  Neville's dreams were filled with Draco and Luna. He awoke with a bad feeling of having remembered all the homework he had to do on the weekend. After breakfast he talked to Ginny and Luna if they could do their work together in the library, as they did sometimes. Both agreed to meet him there in less than an hour, although Ginny said that she would be leaving a bit earlier as she wanted to spend time with her boyfriend, Harry.  
  When Neville and the two girls sat together in the library, helping each other out with their homework, Neville kept a close eye on Luna. He had the feeling that she had seen Draco and him looking at each other, and was sure that if that really was true, that it was not a good thing.  
  Finally, after two and a half hours of work, most of the homework was done and Ginny left the library, leaving Luna and Neville alone. They sat alone in silence for several minutes as Neville finished his essay for History of Magic. The moment he had written the last letter, Luna began to talk.  
  "So..." Her voice was quiet, as it was supposed to be in the library, but there was something in it that made Neville shiver.  
  "So what?" Neville asked, trying to keep calm as he closed his books and stuffed them back in his bag. He tried not to look at Luna directly.  
Luna stood up in one swift motion and sat down next to Neville rather than opposite of him. She was so close, Neville could hear her earrings clink, which made him feel uncomfortable and back away a bit.  
  "What have you been doing with all your free time, Neville?" Luna's voice was dreamy as usual, but she didn't seem as absent. She sounded liked she know what she was playing at, as like she knew that she had the right information to make Neville talk.  
The boy swallowed nervously and rolled up his piece of parchment, putting it in his bag too.  
  "All sorts of things. Studying, mostly." He could feel the redness creep up his cheeks already, which made him angry, but he tried not to show it.  
  "You have been making new friends, haven't you?" Luna stood up and collected her stuff as well, signalling her friend that she was ready to go.  
Neville grabbed his bag and followed her out of the library into the mostly deserted hallway. When he caught up with her, Luna started skipping next to him, swinging her bag back and forth. When Neville didn't say anything, she spoke again.  
  "So? You've got a new friend, do you?"  
  "What?" Neville felt panic rise inside him. "You know I'm not good at making friends." he defended himself. It was a good try, but didn't seem to convince Luna.  
  "I saw you looking at him." she told him. "You were looking at him, and he was looking back at you. You were smiling at him, and-" she suddenly came to a halt and looked at Neville. "- he smiled back at you." A smile appeared on her own face. "It was lovely." She continued skipping, humming, and Neville rushed after her after a few shocked seconds.  
  "Luna!" Neville urged in a whisper. "You can't tell anyone! Promise you won't tell anyone! Luna, please!"  
At his words, Luna stopped humming to speak.  
  "Don't tell anyone that you and Draco are friends?" She slowed down when they came to the staircase where their ways parted. "If you don't want me to, I won't. I have to write my daddy a letter now, see you!" She waved at Neville and descended the stairs. The boy stood at the top and watched her till she was gone. The sudden realization hit him like a crashing wave. Although Luna had not said anything about a romantic relationship, Neville was sure that he and Draco had been too careless. He made a mental note to not look at him during lunch, and try to separate him from his friends afterwards so that he could tell him that meeting that evening wouldn't be a good idea. He wouldn't tell Draco about Luna's knowledge of course, it would only worry him, and Neville didn't want him to. He himself was worried enough already, although he would trust Luna with his life. When Luna said that she wouldn't tell, she wouldn't tell. This thoughts made Neville's heartbeat finally slow down as he entered the Gryffindor common room. He had a few questions about a specific homework to his roommates, but could only find Dean and Seamus holding hands on the couch in front of the fireplace. Not wanting to interrupt them, he entered his dorm and decided to take a short nap.


	10. White Face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me if you like this format better than the one I used in chapters 1-9 ! Thank you!

Neville awoke at the sound of Seamus crashing into the room.

" _There_ you are! You missed lunch!" Seamus exclaimed.

Neville could only blink a few times before he saw something flying towards him. Quickly, he raised his arms to catch it. It was an apple, a few grapes, and a muffin wrapped in paper. Neville could feel his stomach rumble.

"For you." Seamus explained. "Sorry I didn't bring more, but I wasn't sure whether or not you actually missed the meal or just was really early."

"No problem, thank you Seamus." Neville nodded to his friend, before hastily devouring the food. While he was chewing he remembered the plan he had had. He had missed his chance to cancel the meeting with Draco, but he didn't want to just not come, so he had to go. Irritated by his own body for needing so much sleep, he changed into fresh clothes and followed Seamus down into the common room. Seamus disappeared through the painting of the Fat Lady almost immediately.

"Neville!" Ginny had noticed her friend and was walking towards him. "Harry, Ron, Hermione, Luna and I are spending the afternoon outside. The sky cleared up, and I'm pretty sure spring is finally arriving!" Her voice was full of glee. "So anyways, wanna join us? Dean and Seamus didn't want to... I think they already have plans." She fumbled at her sleeve nervously.

"Uhm..." The offer seemed wonderful, but Neville could not leave his boyfriend hanging. There was also the fact that Ginny had mentioned Luna, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to see her right in that moment. "... I actually have plans too. Sorry Ginny."

"Oh. It's alright. But if you change your mind... We're down at the lake probably."

"Okay." Neville smiled happily at Ginny not being insulted. "See you." He gave her a little wave and then escaped through the painting, going to the fifth floor on which the Prefects' bathroom was located.

When he turned around the corner into the hallway of the bathroom, he saw Draco standing in front of the heavy doors. He jogged towards him and Draco hugged him as greeting before Neville could stop him.

"Draco!" Neville's voice was hushed. "Stop. We should be more careful." He hectically looked around the hallway, still wondering what's gotten into his boyfriend.

"No worries, I charmed it so only you could come here." The pride was easily audible in the Slytherin's voice. "'You really think I would be so careless?"

Neville felt guilt in his stomach. "Listen... It's awesome how you do that - you're a really good wizard," he interjected, "- but all this magic doesn't help. Luna saw us exchanging looks at the meal." The words came out as a whisper.

Draco blinked a few times, then turned towards the door. "You mean lunch when you didn't show up?" he teased. The boy reached for the doorknob, but the door wouldn't open. "Shit, we need the password. I forgot."

"Ha, ha. Very funny. You know what I mean. Aren't you concerned at all? And I thought you knew the password! You know, with you being a prefect and everything..." Neville could not hide the annoyance in his voice.

Draco hit the door with his fist in frustration. "I'm always concerned." he said as he turned around to face Neville. "And I'm not a prefect anymore."

Neville stared at his boyfriend for a few seconds. "You don't seem concerned." he noticed. "Why don't you try the last password you knew?"

" _Flobberworm_." Draco growled. The door did not move an inch. "Shit. Okay, I'm done. This was a stupid idea." He twirled around and grabbed his wand from his pocket.

"Yeah, it was." Neville was more angry at Draco for not taking the thing with Luna serious than he was at him for not knowing the password.

Draco let his head hang low, than he stepped towards Neville and hugged him another time. "I didn't lie. I'm scared, but... At this point I don't think there's a going back..." The boy's voice trailed off.

Neville tightened the grip around his boyfriend and kissed him on the neck.

"What do you mean?" he breathed into Draco's ear.

Draco did not answer. Instead, he wriggled out of the hug and straightened his clothes nervously.

"I'm going to find out the password. I expect you to meet me here in exactly a week, so Saturday afternoon." he said. "Now let's get out of here so I can remove the spells."

"O-Okay." Neville stuttered. He leaned towards Draco to put a quick kiss on his boyfriend's lips and then rushed off, back into Gryffindor tower, where he let himself fall on his bed in the deserted dorm.

His frustration had still not ebbed away. He punched his cushion. And again. There was something big going on, something that scared Draco. _Something that scared Draco Malfoy_ , he repeated in his mind. Neville was sure that it was not him, or the relationship that scared Draco. Sure, he had explained that they had to keep it secret, because otherwise they both would be in danger. But he hadn't seemed particularly _scared_. So what was really going on? Draco couldn't tell him, and Neville respected that. But it couldn't fill his curiosity.

With another punch at the pillow, Neville stood upright and promised to himself that he would not try to find out what Draco's secret was. He couldn't. It was wrong and dangerous. Instead, he decided to spend the rest of the afternoon with his friends at the lake to get his mind off Draco for at least a few hours.

 ~

April ended and made room for the wonderful spring sun with occasional, refreshing rain. May had a lot of schoolwork in stock for the students of the sixth year, and so it was no wonder that Neville almost forgot about Draco till the last class on Friday was finally over, and the students went to the Great Hall to eat lunch.

Neville got ripped out of his thoughts the moment Draco entered the hall. The Gryffindor boy had tried to avoid his boyfriend till their meeting, and it was only then when he noticed Draco's appearance. Draco's skin, snow white as ever, seemed almost translucent and thin. The as-white hair was greasy and sticking to his forehead like he had been sweating. There were dark rings under

Draco's eyes, which he moved quickly through the room, over the tables of the houses, the row of teachers, to the ceiling, and to Neville, where his gaze stayed for a few moments. His face, which had been expressionless up to this moment, changed into a grim look. He dashed towards the Slytherin table, sitting down at the very end of it, far away from his friends. He did not eat, nor talk, just stared into somewhere in the distance.

Neville was worried. And so, when the meal was over, he did not care about all the weird looks from Harry, Ron, Hermione and his other friends, and followed Draco to the big door of the hall, stopping his boyfriend before he could escape.

Draco jerked his hand away when Neville tried to grab him. "What do you want, Longbottom?" He did not look into the other's eyes.

"It's still _Neville_." Neville reminded him. He felt the burning gazes of his friends on his back, but he ignored them and tried to grab Draco's wrist again, but the Slytherin boy was quick enough to escape him.

" _Neville_ , what do you want?" Their gazes met. Draco's eyes seemed foggy, unfocused, as if he had drunk too much Firewhiskey. But not quite.

"I... What's going on?" Neville whispered urgently. More people were crowding around them now.

Draco looked around hectically, but Neville's gaze stayed on his boyfriend. He wanted to know what was wrong, now.

"I don't know what you mean." the Slytherin boy growled. "Now get out of my face."

Neville swallowed once. Twice. He knew Draco didn't mean it. He couldn't, or could he? It was just because they were in public, wasn't it? Neville turned around and looked at Harry's shocked face, and then Ron and Hermione, and basically everyone around. He had made a mistake.

"Draco." Harry's voice was stern, demanding.

Neville had made a _huge_ mistake.

"Shit, shit!" Draco clenched his fists and turned around, so that his back was facing most of the crowd.

"I'm so sorry." Neville pressed out as quietly as possible, so that only Draco could hear. Neville could already feel his eyes getting wet. He had done something inexcusable, he was sure. He did not know how to explain it, or how he knew. He did not know what it was, but he was so very sure in that moment, that he had done something wrong. And all he could do is look at Draco's back, not daring to speak another word or touch his boyfriend. _Still boyfriend?_

Draco whirled around again. "As planned. _Grindelwald_." he hissed in Neville's ear, then he dashed out of the hall. Neville could only stare after him, just like everyone else did. Then, suddenly, Harry ran after Draco. And Neville felt his feet moving, following his two friends, without knowing what to do.

He followed them up a few stairways, to the end of a hallway. Draco stopped and turned around, facing Harry, who raised his wand against the Slytherin.

"No!" Neville hurried forward and produced a non-verbal spell with his own wand. Harry's wand flew through the hallway, landing behind Draco.

The Slytherin boy backed up a few steps, and stepped on the wand on the ground cautiously. His eyes were red and puffy now as he pulled out his wand, his arm shaking.

"Leave." Draco's voice was shaking just as much as his hand. His stare pierced through Neville. " _Leave!_ "

Harry's gaze was moving between Draco's feet and Neville. He seemed confused and angry. He stared at Neville, demanding an explanation.

Neville's mind had rarely worked so quickly. He compared his options, and decided to avoid picking sides.

"Give me the wands, Draco." His voice was more broken than he had planned it to be.

Draco did not move.

"The wands, _please_." Neville begged his boyfriend, feeling his eyes wet again. His wand pointing in the air somewhere between his friends. If one of them made a wrong movement, he would have to decide in a matter of a second.

Draco growled, tears now running down his face. He stood there for a few moments, while the two other boys looked at him. Watching Harry closely, Draco finally kicked the wand on the ground towards Neville, who picked it up quickly.

"Both wands." Neville managed to say. He hoped with all his heart that Draco would give in.

Draco was still looking at Harry, and Harry was watching Draco. Then Draco walked closer again, and it was Harry who took a few steps back. Neville slowly walked towards Draco. After what seemed hours, he was finally close enough to take his boyfriend's wand from out of his hand. Draco did not prevent it.

Neville wanted to thank him, when he suddenly heard hurrying footsteps entering the hallway. He and Harry turned around to see Professor McGonagall standing there, wand raised, a fierce expression on her face.

"What is going on?" She demanded to know. To this words, Neville broke down to the ground, tears of despair streaming out of his eyes. He heard the professor coming closer and felt her old fingers as she took all three wands from Neville's hands. There was a noise, and McGonagall waved her own wand. When Neville looked up he saw Draco petrified on the floor, and Harry pressing his body against the wall, his eyes wide in shock. Behind McGonagall, Professor Snape appeared. He stared at the body on the ground, his expression similar to Harry's.

"Severus, please take Draco with us." Professor McGonagall put all wands inside her cloak. "In my office, both of you. _NOW._ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \--- END OF PART ONE ---


	11. Bad Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \--- T W O ---
> 
> A new era seems to dawn after Draco's and Harry's fight, and Neville finds himeelf closer to discovering his boyfriend's secrets than ever. But does he want to know? The truth is a dangerous path, and it is often said to be a lonely walk.

"I am aware of your tendency towards troubles, Mr. Potter. I will investigate Mr. Malfoy's intentions, but I do not tolerant any more interference by you or your friends." Professor McGonagall glanced over to Neville, and back to Harry. "As I have already told you earlier this year, your accusation is a very serious matter. I expect you both to not spread the word around the school in the meantime. Now, Mr. Longbottom, I can not say that I am not surprised that you seem to be an important detail in what was happening. I appreciate your attempt - and success - on settling the fight, and not automatically supporting one of your best friends. 10 points to Gryffindor. However, I want to remind you of one of our most important school rules. Ten points _from_ Gryffindor, Mr. Potter, for raising your wand against Mr. Malfoy."  
  Neville and Harry were sitting in the office of their head of the house, who had already questioned them about what exactly had happened in the Great Hall and the hallway in which Harry and Draco had raised their wands to fight. Neville did not dare to move a muscle as he listened to his professor, and so did not turn to look at the huge clock on the wall to find out how much time had passed. It seemed like an hour, or two, at least.  
  Harry next to him was the total contrast to Neville. He stood up every few minutes, moved around the room, and sat down again. He had declared his assumptions and accusations loudly towards their teacher. But the boy had not once looked at Neville.  
  Neville felt helpless in the situation. Harry probably did not think of it this way, but Neville knew that it was all his own fault. Of course, for his friend it was a perfect opportunity to finally convince McGonagall of his idea of Draco being a death eater.  
  Absurd, Neville thought. Draco might still be his boyfriend, or maybe not, but either way he was sure that the Slytherin boy was not on You-Know-Who's side. He had heard about the Malfoy family, ancient stories, and he had experienced Draco's relatives first-hand. There was no denying in the evil that was flowing in their blood. Draco's aunt had been the one who had tortured Neville's parents into insanity. Yes, Neville hated everything about the Malfoys... Except Draco. But he understood how easy it was to hate him. He had once hated Draco, too. And Harry did not know about the boy's soft side, his struggles, his feelings. But Neville knew about all of that, and there was no way for him to believe that Draco, who had kissed him in the Room of Requirement, Draco, who had been emberassed of admitting his feelings towards Neville, Draco, who had done unspeakable things to Neville under the stands of the Qudditch field, was on the dark side.  
  Neville clenched his fists remembering these moments. Harry did have a few good points, he admitted. He had hoped to get some kind of reassurence of Draco's innocence from Professor McGonagall, but the teacher was now just as silent as Neville himself.  
  Several minutes passed before the door to the office opened noisily. Neville only turned his head when he heard Professor Snape's voice.  
  "I am afraid we do not have any more Veritaserum." Snape's cold voice echoed through the silence room.  
McGonagall stood up from her chair.  
  "This will make the decision for me, then." She stated in a clear tone. "Potter, Longbottom, you may return to your dormitory. I will have a talk with Draco, and then we'll discuss further."  
  "Minerva..." Snape interrupted. "Don't you think it is my task to question a Slytherin boy?" The man entered the room fully and closed the heavy door behind him. He was staring at Professor McGonagall.  
  "Albus made it my duty to solve this matter, as he is not present, and I am the deputy headmistress." She informed him. "But thank you, Severus, for your help. I will tell you as soon as I know something new."  
  Professor Snape nodded slowly. "I will bring in Draco, then?"  
  "Yes, please." McGonagall adressed the two boys still sitting in the chairs in front of the desk. "Go now, but expect me to ask for you soon."  
The Gryffindors obeyed and left the office. Neither of them talked on their way through the portrait of the Fat Lady. When they arrived in the common room, Harry turned towards his friend.  
  "Neville, can you please come here in a few minutes? I'll tell Ron and Hermione what happened, and..." - He paused. - "I just want to talk to you, too."  
  "Okay." Neville replied. He was afraid that Harry was angry at him, but he would understand why. "I'll just take a quick shower."  
But when Harry rushed off towards Ron and Hermione, Neville did not go to the bathroom. Instead, he walked back to Professor McGonagall's office.  
  After making sure that nobody else was in the hallway, he pressed his ear against the heavy door cautiously.  
  "As I said..." - Neville sighed in relief when he made out Draco's voice - "I'm not the one who started the fight. But why punish Potter, wonderful, holy Potter, right?"  
  "Mr. Malfoy." McGonagall's voice was stern. "I have no sure way of knowing what exactly was happening in the hallway, so I'm not going to punish anyone in particular."  
  "Ask Neville then." Draco sounded like he thought this to be a good idea. "He'll tell you. It wasn't me. I just wanted to defend myself! Potter has gone crazy, let me tell you! He had no reason to run after me at all! But yet here I am, being questioned and accused of something I didn't even do! I want to speak to Professor Snape. Maybe he can have a neutral opinion on this matter."  
  "There will be no need, Mr. Malfoy. I am not accusing, but warning you, just like I warned Harry. I will talk to him and Neville again tomorrow. Till then I will have thought of a punishment for all three of you, and I will ask Professor Snape to tell you."  
  " _Punishment?_ I have done nothing! I want to speak to Snape, or else my father will hear about this!" The threat had Professor McGonagall in shock for a few moments, before she continued.  
  "I will not argue with a student about their punishment. Return to your common room now, please."  
There was a sound of a chair being pushed back, and Neville quickly ran towards the staircase at the end of the hallway. He reached it in the moment Draco left the office. Neville found himself impossible to move when Draco's eyes fell on him. The Slytherin boy walked towards the staircase, now avoiding Neville's glance.  
  "Don't forget our meeting." Draco hissed before descending the stairs. Neville watched him go away, and only turned around and ran up the stairs to the Gryffindor common room when his friend was gone.  
  Neville had no time to think about anything Draco said before Harry grabbed his arm and practically pulled him into a corner of the common room, where Hermione and Ron were sitting. Harry wanted Neville to tell the story from his point of view, so Neville did, leaving out the part in the Great Hall. He was not surprised when his friends questioned him further.  
  Ron grunted. "So, what the hell was even going on after lunch?" he asked.  
  "Uhm..." Neville had to make up his mind very quickly, then decided to be honest about as many things as possible. "I... Draco seemed weird. Ill, exhausted, I don't know, something. And I asked him what was wrong, because..." - his heart was beating faster - "Because you always expected him to be up to something, and I figured it might be a clue." He immediatley hated himself for lying to his friends, but there seemed to be no other way of explaining the situation.  
  "Oi! But since when do you just confront Malfoy like that?" Ron asked with raised eyebrows.  
  "I don't know why I did it. It was stupid." At least that was the truth. He raised his head and saw Hermione looking at him with sympathy.  
  "It's alright Neville. You acted like a true Gryffindor, afterwards too. I'm just glad I immediately told McGonagall." It was clear that Hermione was proud of acting so responsibly. "But there's one more thing we have to ask you, Neville."  
  The Gryffindor boy held his breath as he looked in the three faces of his friends, waiting for the question.  
  "When Draco got angry, you said sorry. Why?"  
  Neville was too nervous to think of a good excuse. "I... I don't know."  
  Ron began to grin. "Well, regretted confronting Malfoy then, did ya?"  
  "Ron." Hermione nudged her friend's side with a serious expression on her face. "It's okay, Neville. Thank you for being honest."  
  Neville faked a smile as he stood up and walked up to his room. Dean and Seamus were sitting on one of the beds, trading Chocolate Frog Cards. Neville sat down on his bed and watched them for a while. Every now and then one of the boys would make a flirtatious comment, and they would share a quick kiss. Neville's stomach hurt in envy, and he decided it was best to close his eyes and take a short nap. As he lay in his bed listening to his roommates talk, he wondered whether he and Draco could ever be a happy couple like them. A sad feeling crashed over him like a gigantic wave when he thought of the possibilty that Draco maybe didn't want to have him as a boyfriend anymore - or friend even. He buried his fingernails into the bedding and tried to calm down. Had it not been Draco who wanted McGonagall to speak with Neville to prove Draco's innocence? Apart from that, Draco had even told him that he was still planning the meeting they had agreed on roughly a week ago. _Saturday afternoon, Prefects' bathroom._ Only 24 more hours Neville had to survive till he could finally talk to Draco in piece. 24 more hours of lying to his friends, and uncertainty about their relationship. He took a few calming breaths and loosened his grip around the bed sheet, and soon he drifted off into an uncomfortable sleep.  
  
 _Draco had waited in the bathroom for Neville. Neville had tried everything to be there, but McGonagall had said he had detention, and so he couldn't be there in time._  
 _"I've waited two hours." Draco said, and shook his head as Neville finally entered. Draco came closer and pressed Neville against the cold stone wall. "Don't I mean more to you than that?" He started putting rough kisses and bruises down Neville's cheek and neck._  
 _A moment later they were in the bath together. Draco had his arms around Neville's neck, and kissed him passionately, naked skin against naked skin. That was when Neville noticed the Dark Mark on his boyfriend's arm. He screamed till he had no more air in his lungs and when he finally stopped Draco looked at him with glowing eyes and only two slits where his nose used to be._  
 _"You trusted me." Draco's voice was deep, and echoed through the room seemingly a hundred times. Then he began to laugh - a dark, evil laughter - and pushed Neville's head underwater. Neville sturggeled to get free, but he was too weak. Water went up his nose and into his mouth, and it burned everywhere._  
 _He was going to die, right there. Draco was going to kill him._  
 _But suddenly there was a loud noise and the figure next to him vanished, and Neville emerged from the water, gasping for air._  
  
  "Damn, Neville, are you alright?"  
  Dean was looking down at him, and soon Seamus' face appeared behind him.  
  "I.. uhm..." Neville was still panting and tried to process what he had just experienced. _Just a dream. Just a dream_ , he repeated in his mind. "I'm... okay..." he stuttered.  
  "You were screaming." Seamus declared suddenly.  
  "Oh." Neville only now realised that he was drenched in sweat. "It's alright. Just a bad dream, don't worry."  
  "You should take a shower." Seamus continued.  
  "Yeah, mate. Probably helps you calm down." Dean offered his hand to Neville. "We just wanted to take a shower, too."  
  Neville thought about the offer and took Dean's hand, grateful of not having to go to the bathroom alone. "Yeah, sounds good. Let me just get my stuff."  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed, please leave Kudos (You don't even have to be a user!) and/or write a comment!  
> These things will keep me writing. :3 Thank you, ily <3
> 
> **UPDATE: I am not in the HP fandom anymore, and will most probably never finish this fic... I'm sorry!**


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